Mr. Ball-less sent me a clarifying email (in response to an email that I sent with heavy undertones of "you fucked up because remember how awesome we are together and how all of your fears are dumb?") to let me know that he just isn't ready for a relationship. And although he couldn't quite articulate it, "it just didn't feel right so it didn't make sense to keep going." FIN. THE END. ADIOS. DONE AND DONE.
I am no longer confused, upset, angry...just tired. I like being single. I like flirting. I like having exponentially more time to obsess over my split ends and Gossip Girl type shows. I loved being with him...but I won't die without him.
My number one criteria for any relationship is that I can only be with someone who WANTS to be with me. And if it "didn't feel right" then there is no way that him coming back to me would ever feel good. I do have a strong intuition/fear that this won't be the end of him. But for now, this is the final posting that you will ever have to read about Mr. Ballsy. (a.k.a. Ball-less)
Besides, I have way better things to do...like check potential face rape victims for a pulse.
A special "Thank You" to my girl, Gloria for writing this song just for me, just for this exact moment...I am sure that Quantum Leap was involved in making sure that nothing got in the way of this song being written and produced just so that I would have something to listen to AT THIS MOMENT. (narcissistic much?)