Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Awesomely Awful Break Up Advice...From Real Songs...

Whether they are recommending that you blame an inanimate object or learn to fly again or tackling the futile attempts to lure an ex into your bed...these artists have tackled "the break up" with such lyrical genius and deep insight...its hard to look away.

Milli Vanilli perfectly captured the psyche of a 26 year old blameshifting commitment-phobe in their classic hit, "Blame It on the Rain."

The lyrical GENIUSES, O-Town, managed to rhyme "All" with "All" in this little masterpiece called, "All or Nothing"...

Mr. Mister (the name alone is AWESOME) has the miraculous words of wisdom to help you heal and "fly again" right into that damned book of love in "Broken Wings."

Oh, Chicago- its like you want me to laugh at you while still feeling horrified that you are accurately describing every run in I have ever had with an ex...awkward and inevitably I wish they would just "Look Away."

And I don't know what it is about Bonnie Raitt's "I Can't Make You Love Me," but it is my jam for this break up...its so pathetic...so wise...so much big ginger hair. It is that guilty habit that you never openly admit when your friends call. "MH, what are you doing?" "Oh nothing, just listening to Bonnie Raitt beg a man to sleep wth her even though she knows he doesn't love her ... ON REPEAT.. and crying incessantly."

You can't talk about breaking up without mentioning Boyz II Men, circa 1995. "End of the Road," "Bended Knee," "So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday," but none is as sad and pathetic as "Water Runs Dry." Mostly because this one couple in 8th Grade declared it "their song" and I was oddly jealous...

And last but not least...my girl Gwen croons a mean tune about just shutting the fuck up...because guys don't really know why they break up with us. Getting scared and running like a little boy isn't nearly as cool as rambling off fake shit. So, "Don't Speak."

P.S. how I miss these trainwrecks!


  1. Oh my God O-Town! Lol girl no you didn't!!!!!! They're hot :) I love all these songs, especially the classics like Chicago, Bonnie Raitt and Boys II Men. I guess I'm showing my age huh?

  2. I'll show mine if you show yours! :) Hey, nothing wrong with growing up in the 90s.hehe

  3. Milli Vanilli have been popping up everywhere for me today. What's with that?

    p.s. Boyz II Men were a major feature in a break up mix tape I made for one ex. Odd how that didn't totally win him back...



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