Thursday, June 10, 2010
Does Anyone Else Ever "Accidentally" Get Drunk Alone? Or is it just me...
So tonight I was sitting home alone, working late, feeling NOT sorry for myself but rather indignant. I decided to open a bottle of wine and drink while I work. Like my very own version of "Whistle While You Work," except instead of 7 tiny men to help me, I just drink alone and have one lazy, haughty dog who glares at me when I ask her for a refill. Bitch.
So I was typing along, working hard for hours, not feeling a thing. Then BAM! Around 1am, when I was PROOFREADING (comical timing, i would say) - It hits me like a sock full of quarters (snoochie boochies- and bonus point for anyone who gets that reference). I had the official "spins." Which only made my conclusions and summaries MORE enjoyable. I had to restrain myself from re-writing, "FUCKING DUH!" in my conclusions section at least twice.
I have since re-proofed my documents and am QUITE impressed with my drunken smarts. (assuming I am no longer drunk) But I have to ask myself, how did this happen? I would never say that I have a problem...because I can go at least 1-2.5 days in a row without a drink...but something about holding a glass of wine while typing with one hand on my MacBook and glaring back at my disapproving dog felt GOOD! Like a big middle finger to society. So mama likes to drink alone, so what?
If there is ever a time when this should be ok- it should be when you are slowly facing the harsh reality that the person-you-thought-you-loved-does-not-(and likely never did)love-you-in-return-but-life-goes -on-and-work-still-needs-to-get-done-because-bills-still-need-to-be-paid-and-you-would-freak-the-fuck-out-if-you-ever-had-to-move-back-in-with-your-parents-because-they-are-so-conservative-and-you-would -never-have-sex-again-and-you-start-breaking-out-into-hives-because-the-thought-of -dying-alone-in-your-parents-house-a la-Franz Kafka's masterpience, The Metamorphosis,-just-makes-you-want-to-pour-ONE-more-glass-of-wine...and ahhhhhh! all better. Now what was I saying?