Thursday, June 10, 2010

Does Anyone Else Ever "Accidentally" Get Drunk Alone? Or is it just me...

So tonight I was sitting home alone, working late, feeling NOT sorry for myself but rather indignant.  I decided to open a bottle of wine and drink while I work.  Like my very own version of "Whistle While You Work," except instead of 7 tiny men to help me, I just drink alone and have one lazy, haughty dog who glares at me when I ask her for a refill. Bitch.

So I was typing along, working hard for hours, not feeling a thing.  Then BAM!  Around 1am, when I was PROOFREADING (comical timing, i would say) - It hits me like a sock full of quarters (snoochie boochies- and bonus point for anyone who gets that reference).  I had the official "spins."  Which only made my conclusions and summaries MORE enjoyable.  I had to restrain myself from re-writing, "FUCKING DUH!" in my conclusions section at least twice.

I have since re-proofed my documents and am QUITE impressed with my drunken smarts. (assuming I am no longer drunk)  But I have to ask myself, how did this happen?  I would never say that I have a problem...because I can go at least 1-2.5 days in a row without a drink...but something about holding a glass of wine while typing with one hand on my MacBook and glaring back at my disapproving dog felt GOOD!  Like a big middle finger to society. So mama likes to drink alone, so what? 

If there is ever a time when this should be ok- it should be when you are slowly facing the harsh reality that the person-you-thought-you-loved-does-not-(and likely never did)love-you-in-return-but-life-goes -on-and-work-still-needs-to-get-done-because-bills-still-need-to-be-paid-and-you-would-freak-the-fuck-out-if-you-ever-had-to-move-back-in-with-your-parents-because-they-are-so-conservative-and-you-would -never-have-sex-again-and-you-start-breaking-out-into-hives-because-the-thought-of -dying-alone-in-your-parents-house-a la-Franz Kafka's masterpience, The Metamorphosis,-just-makes-you-want-to-pour-ONE-more-glass-of-wine...and ahhhhhh! all better.  Now what was I saying?


  1. lol! This is great. If I was the type to drink, or if I liked wine, this would totally be me. The few times I get drunk though it's usually on purpose just because I don't want to be the designated driver.

  2. Ok, now i don't feel so bad about killing that bottle of chardonnay last night... by myself while I chatted with a guy online from OKCupid... resisting the urge to call my ex crying that I still miss him... lol great post!



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