Weekend Shopping List:
1 Pony KegEvent: Bar Olympics: A Case Race for the Cure
8 Cases of Beer
1 Disco Ball Packaged bottle of Absolut Vodka
1 Handle of Raspberry Vodka
2 2liters of Lemonade
2 2liters of Soda water
1 6pack of Schmirnoff Ice
70 Bagel Bites
1 Tub of Buffalo Chicken Dip/Crack
1 pan of SNICKERS brownies
6 Shot Glasses
2 Team USA Sparkly Headbands
Sno Cone Machine
2 Fifths of Blueberry Vodka
Guess Who (the boardgame)
Ping Pong Balls
Giant Pixie Stix
4 Sheets of Candy Buttons
Pop It Snappers
Costco pack of Paper Towels
24 pk of Water
Industrial Size bottle of Ibuprofen
I decided to get my friends real drunk AND collect money to cure Cancer. I know, I know... real Saint I am! 6 rounds of drinking games and bonus points for Icing someone, taking shots, or shotgunning a beer...let's just say that for once in my life- I was NOT the Haute Messiest! As the referee, I was able to check my competitive hat at the door and just instigate the madness...
- While explaining how to play Catchphrase, I was asked the following question "Can we hit the 'Next' button if we don't know what the word means?" My reply? I thoughtfully pondered for 2 seconds and retorted, "No. I am pretty sure this was designed for someone with a 6th grade education." ZING!
- I offered 10 bonus points for anyone who could re-hang a broken shelf in my living room...I even provided tools and offered my power drill...to a girl who had been drinking for 6 hours. Result? A beautiful, straight shelf (due to my iPhone handyman level app) and Senorita CalienteMess's dad stepping in. Next Step? Bunking our beds so we have more room for activities!
- Alcoholic Sno Cones....not just for kids anymore.
- Me throwing pop its at HotPot Head (or my most recent face rape victim) yelling, "Dance, Monkey! Dance!"
- My bitchy little rat dog being chased around the house by multiple boys trying to pick her up and hold her like a baby... Catching that little bitch licking up spilled beer all night in spite of my yelling at her... Reaching down to touch said bitchy little rat dog to stroke her beer coated fur...and then feeling the pain that my parents must have felt when I continued to come home drunk in high school.
AND the most important part? Forgetting all about whats-his-name...
Signs that I am Growing Up:
- I remembered to use my Neti Pot AND wash my face before drunkenly passing out.