Friday, June 18, 2010

You Might Be a Hautemess If...


You and your bestie prank each other's ex-boyfriends at 3am on a Tuesday...for no reason...and with absolutely no clue what you will actually say when they answer the phone.

So, in an effort to cheer up Senorita CalienteMess, I took her out for a Skinny Drunk Bitch dinner. (we split a caprese salad and bottle of wine) While there, we re-enacted the scene from SATC2 where Miranda and Charlotte drink every time they make an admission that life isn't perfect.  So 1 bottle of wine, 2 bars, and 4 Sweet Tea Vodkas later....we cabbed it home (stopped to get pizza first...skinny bitch dinners only work for actual skinny girls).

While home we decided that it would be a great idea to call her ex boyfriend...but she wanted me to *67 that call and pretend to be a boy named Ryan.  Did that sound like a bad idea? SURE.  Did I do it? SURE.  When he answered (at 3am) and was confused, she didn't feel any better.  So she decided to remedy this by pranking my ex...at 3am...to "make it even."  I tried begging her not to....but she is a persistent little bitch. I allowed this to happen ONLY because I would have done anything to make her smile...but why? When he looked at his phone in the morning and saw a "BLOCKED CALLER" missed call at 3am...of course he will assume it is me. DOH!

And kids, this is what you call a string of bad decisions.

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