Wednesday, July 28, 2010

WHAT THE SHIT?!?! Wednesday

Since I have been holing myself up in the W Times Square, hiding from the public due to some major tummy issues that WebMD has helped me to diagnose as either Viral Gastroenteritis or Irritable Bowel Syndrome with severe gas pains- I have had plenty of time to catch up on the Kardashians and E! News...and all I have to say is, "WHAT THE SHIT!?!?" (get it...its also PUNNY...because of my "tummy issues!)  So now I share with you my favorite headlines of the day.

Is Your Wallet Tingling?  Could it be herpes...or hair product allergies?
Mother fucking Snooki rang the opening bell for New York Stock Exchange this morning?  The only thing these Guidos & Guidettes know about money is the price of  Ed Hardy Trucker Hats, an Unlimited Monthly Tanning Bed Package, Horse hair clip in weaves, and monthly prescriptions of Valtrex.  But seriously...you want a sign that the Apocalypse is near? The Situation is also reported to have landed a new deal, with reports that MTV offered him between $27,500 to $45,000 PER EPISODE.  I studied my ass off my whole life, went to college like my guidance counselor told me to, and have been working my way up the corporate ladder ever since to earn a fraction of his annual salary...A SMALL FRACTION.

Can I get a "What the Shit!?"

Cougars, Cougars, Everywhere and Not a Boy I'd Date
Linda Hogan's engaged to this douche rocket?  Mini Hulk 2.0 is only 21 years old...and Linda? 50!  I mean, don't get me wrong.  When asked how I see myself celebrating my 50th birthday, I have stated quite clearly that I see myself on a yacht with my 2 25 year old boyfriends.  BUT to marry one of them on a boat named "Alimony?"  Now that's just tacky...but so is her hair...and his hair...and his goatee..and his EARRINGS.  Sick out.

Can I get a "What the Shit!?"


Want to Plan a "Free Lindsay" Rally, but Not Sure Where To Go?
A Tanning Salon, DUH!  This.Just.Happened.  Today, her friends at Beach Bum Tanning sent a little love note saying "Get Out Of Jail Soon!" or likely "Get Out Of Jail Soon, or we will go out of business." If I were to go to jail, I think the only places that would protest are the local karaoke bar or maybe Chipotle...sad thing? I am not sure which is lamer, me or her.  But seriously, people really made signs and PROTESTED for that trainwreck? 

Can I get a "What the Shit!?"

4 comments:

  1. 1) I kind of feel ripped off that my whole life I was taught good taste and education are major components of an easy life...

    2) The worst part about Linda Hogan's new beau is that he looks like he could ACTUALLY be her son. There's either a genetic tie or she got work done to look like him and I'm not sure what's worse.

    3) I really have no words. I guess if I find myself in the area and wanting a tan, I'd go there in hopes that my ass cheek might lie on a bed familiar with Ms. Lohan's ass cheek?

    ReplyDelete
  2. What the shit?! Snooki should not be anywhere near the stock market.

    Hope you feel better soon!

    -Delilah

    ReplyDelete
  3. Okay I have to agree with you on ALL points!! Hope you are feeling like yourself VERY soon!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. What the shit?! Snooki should not be anywhere near the stock market.

    Hope you feel better soon!

    -Delilah

    ReplyDelete

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