Friday, July 2, 2010

You Might Be a Hautemess If...

Happy Hautemess Friday!  Great news..."You Might Be A Hautemess If..." is BAAAACK!  And even better, all stories come from real things that happened last night when Mademoiselle TanMess and I decided to celebrate the nation's birthday 3 days early...what's more American than drinking massive amounts of red wine, in white to go cups, sitting on a blue hammock? Hope you all have a fabulous 4th of July weekends filled with all of the things that make America great: booze, bbq, drunken makeouts with almost complete strangers, above ground pools, slip & slides, drag shows, fireworks, opening weekend of Eclipse. Oh wait...that's MY weekend! :)


You Might Be a Hautemess If...
You pour wine into a "to go" cup and drink it through a straw while taking your dog on a walk.

You Might Be a Hautemess If...
You text your roommate's firefighter brother to coax him into coming to her birthday party by saying, "So what's the plan for Saturday? I am starting a fire... in my panties... need a fireman."

You Might Be a Hautemess If...
You have to change your voicemail to the generic AT&T message because you forgot to *67 all of your prank calls...but you have to change it back before Tuesday because it's ALSO your work phone.

You Might Be a Hautemess If...
Of the 10 people you haven't talked to in the past 5 years that your roommate pranks from your phone, 4 of them immediately said, "Hautemess? Is that you?" FML...

You Might Be a Hautemess If...
Your immediate response to the realization that you are the worst secret prankster ever is as follows:
Hautemess - "So this is what its like to take it to the level that no longer fun."
TanMess - "Are you fucking kidding me? That was fucking fun as shit!"
Hautemess - "4 friends down, 1,067 to go..."

You Might Be a Hautemess If...
You find out the hard way that *67 is no match for Google Voice when you received an email reforwarding your prank voicemail to you at 7am with a thank you note from your cousin.

You Might Be a Hautemess If...
Your friend utters the words "Tell him I am sorry I showed him my poo, but it must have been fucking amazing," and you immediately email it to yourself with the title "awesome blog entry."

You Might Be a Hautemess If...
You are excited to see Eclipse so that you can have new phrases to say when you are dumping boys.

3 comments:

  1. Loool sounds like you had an eventful night!!!
    I like the fireman line; you remind me so much of my best friend with the random shit you say and that's the nicest thing I've ever said to anyone :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have an award for you on my blog as well ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. THANKS for the compliment and THANKS for the award! :)

    ReplyDelete

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