Friday, July 16, 2010

You Might Be a Hautemess If...

Happy HauteMess Friday!  I am calling this post "HauteMess: Hangover Edition" because I slept for 10 hours last night to prepare myself for the inevitable shitshow tonight.  "What shitshow?" you ask.  The MC HAMMER Concert at the Cincinnati Reds game tonight.  I will be in a box with free food & booze and all the MC Hammer I can stand!  But no matter how much sleep I got last night and how much water I drink today...tomorrow's hangover is likely to be epic! (I mean, how can you not drink every time you hear the words 2 Legit?)

So I leave you with things I have written while laying miserable on my couch and things I have received via text message from friends as they suffered through the morning after...things that haven't found a home in any of my blogs thus far...until today's Hangover Edition.

You Might Be A HauteMess If...
You find yourself still on the couch 6 hours after crawling out of bed, watching Gilmore Girls, and feeding the pain with chips...fritos AND tortilla chips.

You Might Be A HauteMess If...
After consuming an approximate 3,900 calories in chips, your sweat starts to smell like corn.

You Might Be A HauteMess If...
You wake up, walk downstairs and see only the crust left from your roommate's drunken pizza binge...and you eat every dried up, cold piece of crust.  And then you throw the box away to discard the evidence.

You Might Be A HauteMess If...
You wake up the next morning and your dirty, scratched up feet are the only reminder that you walked 2 miles barefoot home...on your birthday.


You Might Be A HauteMess If...
You sent the following text the night before: "Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be."

You Might Be A HauteMess If...
You look at your phone the next morning and see that you in fact pranked about 20 people the night before...and about 5 of them have already called/texted you back.

1 comment:

  1. You might be a hautemess if...
    You are seriously considering purchasing one of these for the MC Hammer concert
    http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/fashion/2010/07/15/2010-07-15_thats_amore____now_more_a_36c_bra_you_can_pump_full_of_wine_can_be_any_womans_se.html

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