Like Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy...I thought I would lighten your Monday with a little poll.
Snap. Crackle. Pop. You have to marry one, fuck one, and kill one....GO!
Kill: I think I would kill crackle because his little white bandana and Where's Waldo hat lead me to believe two things: 1) He has terrible taste in clothes and 2) He may be gay. Now, I LOVE Gay Guys (Right, Mr. Gaymess?) and don't normally condone killing them- BUT since my only other options are to marry or fuck- I at least want the other person to want to be fucking me. Trust me, its a mercy kill. Crackle would kill himself married to me. I would be all like, "Honey, you have to use some hair gel or some shit to tame those bangs...how is it possible that you are a grown man with 1990 Mall Bangs???" And he would be like,"Is nothing I do every good enough for you??? I don't even LIKE women." See? Mercy Kill!
Fuck: I think pop looks like he may be a wild child in the sack. Something about a man in uniform. (even if it is a toy soldier uniform...it is still a uniform!) And the neverending puns that I could come up with about getting "Pop'd" would be so much fun. BUT with all of his travel and fighting wars (or whatever toy soldiers who make cereal do), I just don't know if he would be an attentive enough husband. So he can be my on the side fuck. "Let's get it Poppin like its New Year's Eve."
Marry: I would hands down marry Snap for a multitude of reasons.
1) He is a chef so he would cook me delicious dinners every day!
2) His name is first in the billing...so I think that may mean is the most important and most famous member of this trio. Plus, since he is a chef, and they make cereal- it leads me to believe that his job is important so he is probably well paid.
3) That fucking hipster scarf is amazing. I have a soft spot in my heart for hipsters...largely because I believe if I was 8 years younger, I would BE a hipster. However, I grew up...and went corporate...and like showers...and don't like PBR. BUT I do love some of the fashion. So I am intrigued and attracted to Snap's inner hipster.
The ONE drawback? I am nervous to see if the carpet matches the curtains on this ginger!
SO...how about you? Who would you marry, fuck, and kill?