Monday, August 2, 2010

Deep Questions...by Mademoiselle Haute Mess

Like Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy...I thought I would lighten your Monday with a little poll.  

Snap. Crackle. Pop. You have to marry one, fuck one, and kill one....GO!

Kill: I think I would kill crackle because his little white bandana and Where's Waldo hat lead me to believe two things: 1) He has terrible taste in clothes and 2) He may be gay.  Now, I LOVE Gay Guys (Right, Mr. Gaymess?) and don't normally condone killing them- BUT since my only other options are to marry or fuck- I at least want the other person to want to be fucking me.  Trust me, its a mercy kill.  Crackle would kill himself married to me.  I would be all like, "Honey, you have to use some hair gel or some shit to tame those bangs...how is it possible that you are a grown man with 1990 Mall Bangs???" And he would be like,"Is nothing I do every good enough for you???  I don't even LIKE women." See?  Mercy Kill!

Fuck: I think pop looks like he may be a wild child in the sack.  Something about a man in uniform. (even if it is a toy soldier uniform...it is still a uniform!) And the neverending puns that I could come up with about getting "Pop'd" would be so much fun.  BUT with all of his travel and fighting wars (or whatever toy soldiers who make cereal do), I just don't know if he would be an attentive enough husband.  So he can be my on the side fuck. "Let's get it Poppin like its New Year's Eve."

Marry: I would hands down marry Snap for a multitude of reasons.
1) He is a chef so he would cook me delicious dinners every day!
2) His name is first in the billing...so I think that may mean is the most important and most famous member of this trio. Plus, since he is a chef, and they make cereal- it leads me to believe that his job is important so he is probably well paid.
3) That fucking hipster scarf is amazing.  I have a soft spot in my heart for hipsters...largely because I believe if I was 8 years younger, I would BE a hipster.  However, I grew up...and went corporate...and like showers...and don't like PBR.  BUT I do love some of the fashion.  So I am intrigued and attracted to Snap's inner hipster.
The ONE drawback? I am nervous to see if the carpet matches the curtains on this ginger!

SO...how about you? Who would you marry, fuck, and kill?

8 comments:

  1. HAHA. This made me laugh SO much.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kill myself for how long I thought about this answer. (And you for asking such relevant and probing questions!)

    Fuck Pop. Def-O. He's the dark one, and therefore most likely to be of Spanish decent and therefore also mist likely to be BRILLIANT in bed. 'Nuff said.

    And uh...I may have stopped there.

    - B

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lool I'd fuck Snap; I have a soft spot for gingery men.

    ReplyDelete
  4. B- HAHA! You and your spanish men- I may need you to show me the way.

    Bee- Gingers are nearly extinct, so you are doing Snap a SOLID by giving it to him. :) Maybe you can even accidently have a little ginger lovechild. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. B- HAHA! You and your spanish men- I may need you to show me the way.

    Bee- Gingers are nearly extinct, so you are doing Snap a SOLID by giving it to him. :) Maybe you can even accidently have a little ginger lovechild. :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Lool I'd fuck Snap; I have a soft spot for gingery men.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'll immediately take hold of your rss feed as I
    can't in finding your e-mail subscription hyperlink or newsletter service.

    Do you have any? Please permit me realize so that I may subscribe.
    Thanks.

    Also visit my webpage http://feudmu.metroblog.com/cheap_air_jordan_4_secure_payment_online_and_100_return_guarantee

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails