So I now present you with....
- I hate when people say, "I never trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die." Guess what assfuck? No chick loves a period, but what we especially don't love is your low IQ redneck ass saying shit like this...IN PUBLIC. It isn't even really blood, sicko.
- I hate camaros. Hillbilly corvettes, that's all.
- I hate washing my face before bed. It makes it seem like it keeps me up forever...I realize that this is just pure laziness...but I still hate it.
- I hate changing lightbulbs that burn out...especially ones that require a ladder or unscrewing a lamp shade. Laziness....I know.
- I hate the fake homeless people who wear coats in the summer while they are begging for money. Its fucking hot! Why are you wearing a coat? I realize it is part of your costume, but it is just not practical.
- I hate when I hate my friends' boyfriend or girlfriend (or fiancee) and I can't say anything...just have to sit around and picture ways to gouge my own eyes out when they speak.
- I hate when pre-teen girls walk down the street and start inexplicably laughing because I always think they are laughing at me. Paranoid? YES- but middle school girls are the fucking meanest people on the goddammed planet! I survived that shit once...they bring back bad memories.
- I hate that carbs are bad for you...will someone please stop trying to cure a disease just long enough develop a pill that causes carbs to be slimming, PUH-LEASE?
- I hate parents who don't control their toddlers on airplanes...NO- I did not pay several hundred dollars for the "back massage" your little boy is giving me by kicking the shit out of my chair...and why should I bend over and pick up that damned toy? HE threw it, first!
- I hate that clothes always look better on skinny girls...fuck you fashion industry!
- I hate events that require women to wear suits: interviews, getting sued, or any work setting that requires it. I hate suits and I haven't worn one in 6 years...
- I hate when people try to make women wear khakis and polo shirts...tucked in! That just is so wrong and so unflattering.
- And finally, I hate Lars Ulrich for fucking shutting down Napster. That dude is a fucking loser. "Wah Wah, please stop stealing my music! Instead of making 22million dollars this year, I will only makes 21.5! WAAAAH!" Fucking cry baby!
Ahhhhh.....much better! (still hate fucking bed bugs though)