Friday, August 27, 2010

Happy HauteMess Great Sex Friday!

OK- so in lieu of HauteMess stories this week, I thought I would just share some casual observations about the study results posted above.  These results both  leave me in shock and simultaneously nodding my head, saying- yup! makes sense....The Situation looks like he would be terrible in bed.

1. I have had sex in 3 of the top 4 and 4 of the top 10 cities...coincidence? Probably.... (but I have had sex in 0 of the bottom 10, too...soo maybe!)
Every single one of my ex boyfriends currently lives in one of the cities on the Top 10...I would like to believe that since they are no longer with ME- their satisfaction levels would have gone down. (because we all know that my temporarily celibate status is not driving those numbers now) BUT perhaps my mark is just so significant that it is permanent!

2. Jersey City in the bottom 10? DUH! The dudes on Jersey Shore look like they would be TERRIBLE in bed.
Especially if the rooms are mirrored, they would never stop looking at themselves.  I would bet you $100 that these guys call out their own name during sex. ( sho!) 

3. Salt Lake City??  WHA??!
I guess the mormons either A) know how to get down like a clown, Charlie Brown.  OR Every man gets one vote per wife....kidding, kidding!  I am actually not kidding...because I watch Big Love and know that everything on TV is factual...everything!

4. Yonkers on the people actually live in Yonkers?
I would have sworn up and down that Yonkers was purely a made up city in the popular play, Hello Dolly! I mean, no wonder they are so sexually frustrated.  If the only people that ever visited my city were major Streisand fans, I would be, too.

5. Final Lesson: when booking vacations, avoid The Dirty South and New England...Go visit one of my 2 favorite places on earth- Greece and France!  Sadly though, when I was last in Greece, the most action I got was a catcall on the topless beach (yes...I let the girls get a little sun) Next stop for me? Iceland. (if I get Volcano'd in - I will for sure drive those numbers up to the number one spot!*)

*I am a total liar...I have never had vacation sex...but I bet being volcano'd would make it all bets off!


  1. I would be interested in knowing how many people have had sex in churches .. minus priest of course. For scientific purposes only.. of course.

  2. You see?? I knew I'd made a contribution to the UK!! Yay me and my sexual prowess.

    Doesn't Yonkers sound like it should have a better sex rate, though?

    Cheao, horrible sex, but sex nonetheless...

    Just sayng.

    - B x

  3. um...i fucking loooooooooooooove you!

  4. I used to work in Yonkers- that makes perfect sense!

  5. um...i fucking loooooooooooooove you!



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