Thursday, August 5, 2010

Hear Ye, Hear Ye...A New Decree

Back in June , I declared this to be "The Summer of Single."  I have been doing a fabulous job focusing on myself and detoxing from the rubbish that was my Spring Fling. I have traveled, seen concerts, consumed mass amounts of wine & vodka, and started to really focus on myself.  BLAH! Who wants to hear about that, right?  Jeez- even I am bored!  So, after being "good to myself" for a couple months, I have decided, "What's the point of being Summer of Single if you can't also be a little bad?"

I now declare this to be "Bad Decision August."  Things are about to get messy awesome!  This new season kicks off with Lollapalooza in Chicago followed by 2 bachelorette parties (one in Vegas)...so yeah.
 So what makes this different than any other month?  Well generally, I at least TRY to make good decisions (and typically fail)- but for the next 30 days, Fuck It!


Potential Scenarios You Can Look Forward To:
- Waking up, rolling over, and screaming, "Who the fuck are you? Where am I? *Awkward Pause* I mean, good morning. I had fun last night."
- Making out with a stranger at a gay club...why is this a possibility?  Last time I went to a club with Mr. GayMess, his friend asked me if I was lonely enough to make out with him.  My answer? "Not really, so no thanks."  My response THIS time??  "Sounds like a terrible idea...OK!"
- Two words for you...CHICK FIGHT! (then in court I can blame MTV and Jersey Shore...just like days of old when kids blamed everything on TV)
- Speaking of Jersey Shore, a really bad decision would be hooking up with one of them...so in Vegas, if I were to see one of them...even Snooki...it's on.
- Run ins with ex boytoys...whats the fun of making bad decisions if they can't be REALLY dumb.  Why not meet someone for coffee?  Or stop avoiding the bars where they may be.  Taking back my fucking life and no longer avoiding those bozos.
- Getting all hopped up on Sensa (rando, and likely ineffective weightloss miracle drug with no psychotropic effects whatsoever) and booze on the reg...getting skinny...and running around naked to prove it works!
- Going on a date with that 22 year old. Not one single part of that sounds like a good idea. DONE!

Bad Decisions that will NOT be included this month:
- Getting pregnant.  Otherwise you can consider Bad Decision August the precursor to Kill Me September.
- Anything related to Bed Bugs coming home to live with me.
- Sex with the Ex.  Under NO circumstances will I allow any of those bastards to touch me again...but dangling the possibility in front of them MAY be an option.
- Getting Arrested.  God I Hope....say a prayer for me!) I am too pretty for jail.  I have already assessed a list of new bad habits and as long as jail or getting fat aren't possibilities- the world is my oyster.  (and note, you only go to jail if you get caught! Mary Kay Letourneau, I am looking at you! KIDDING! 6th graders are NOT my bag.

What's in it for you?  Follow me on Twitter for real pictures and live updates! Please note that I already know this is a bad decision...but I need to start using that Twitter account eventually...especially if I am going to be going out with 22 year olds.

6 comments:

  1. Hahaha. Your blog never fails to make me giggle.
    I love this idea, it's sure going to give you a lot to blog about!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Now this, THIS is a subject on which I can truly comment!

    May I also suggest adding to your list:

    1. Hooking up with a foreigner who doesn't speak English. (I, of course, recommend a Spaniard, btu any Western European will do nicely. Believe me. Speaking NOT. NECESSARY.)

    2. Impulse trendy haircut and colour. (Nothing makes you feel naughty like a new look. Slight danger that you'll feel like a werido, but if done right you will look and feel amazing.)

    3. Buying and wearing the sh*t out of a brand new pair of F*ck me heels. (OBVIOUSLY. The higher the better. Potential broken ankles, but worth how hot you will feel whilst still upright.)

    4. Goind on a date with that 22 yr old. (Uh, which part of that was supposed to sound like a bad idea??)

    5. A possible vaca to the UK? I'd be happy to help you navigate the treacherous waters of naughtiness...

    Just suggestions, mind. I don't have any experience in any of this stuff.

    ((cough))

    Have fun. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Also just noticed that I made the blogroll over there ---------->

    My what excellent taste you have, my Haute friend!

    (Merci beuacoup and Muchas gracias and other gratitudes.)

    - B

    ReplyDelete
  4. Emily- thanks, girl! I am hoping that the bad decisions will lead to awesome blogs!

    B- oh I LOVE bad girl vacations to London... I always make bad decisions when I am in the UK...see the following entries for proof:

    http://carriebradshawisfullofit.blogspot.com/2010/02/time-i-made-jesus-cry.html

    http://carriebradshawisfullofit.blogspot.com/2010/02/chinese-water-torture-technique-of.html

    And you are MORE than welcome! I love featuring my blog friends...It is a blog worth stalking!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Now this, THIS is a subject on which I can truly comment!

    May I also suggest adding to your list:

    1. Hooking up with a foreigner who doesn't speak English. (I, of course, recommend a Spaniard, btu any Western European will do nicely. Believe me. Speaking NOT. NECESSARY.)

    2. Impulse trendy haircut and colour. (Nothing makes you feel naughty like a new look. Slight danger that you'll feel like a werido, but if done right you will look and feel amazing.)

    3. Buying and wearing the sh*t out of a brand new pair of F*ck me heels. (OBVIOUSLY. The higher the better. Potential broken ankles, but worth how hot you will feel whilst still upright.)

    4. Goind on a date with that 22 yr old. (Uh, which part of that was supposed to sound like a bad idea??)

    5. A possible vaca to the UK? I'd be happy to help you navigate the treacherous waters of naughtiness...

    Just suggestions, mind. I don't have any experience in any of this stuff.

    ((cough))

    Have fun. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hahaha. Your blog never fails to make me giggle.
    I love this idea, it's sure going to give you a lot to blog about!

    ReplyDelete

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