I now declare this to be "Bad Decision August." Things are about to get
Potential Scenarios You Can Look Forward To:
- Waking up, rolling over, and screaming, "Who the fuck are you? Where am I? *Awkward Pause* I mean, good morning. I had fun last night."
- Making out with a stranger at a gay club...why is this a possibility? Last time I went to a club with Mr. GayMess, his friend asked me if I was lonely enough to make out with him. My answer? "Not really, so no thanks." My response THIS time?? "Sounds like a terrible idea...OK!"
- Two words for you...CHICK FIGHT! (then in court I can blame MTV and Jersey Shore...just like days of old when kids blamed everything on TV)
- Speaking of Jersey Shore, a really bad decision would be hooking up with one of them...so in Vegas, if I were to see one of them...even Snooki...it's on.
- Run ins with ex boytoys...whats the fun of making bad decisions if they can't be REALLY dumb. Why not meet someone for coffee? Or stop avoiding the bars where they may be. Taking back my fucking life and no longer avoiding those bozos.
- Getting all hopped up on Sensa (rando, and likely ineffective weightloss miracle drug with no psychotropic effects whatsoever) and booze on the reg...getting skinny...and running around naked to prove it works!
- Going on a date with that 22 year old. Not one single part of that sounds like a good idea. DONE!
Bad Decisions that will NOT be included this month:
- Getting pregnant. Otherwise you can consider Bad Decision August the precursor to Kill Me September.
- Anything related to Bed Bugs coming home to live with me.
- Sex with the Ex. Under NO circumstances will I allow any of those bastards to touch me again...but dangling the possibility in front of them MAY be an option.
- Getting Arrested. God I Hope....say a prayer for me!) I am too pretty for jail. I have already assessed a list of new bad habits and as long as jail or getting fat aren't possibilities- the world is my oyster. (and note, you only go to jail if you get caught! Mary Kay Letourneau, I am looking at you! KIDDING! 6th graders are NOT my bag.
What's in it for you? Follow me on Twitter for real pictures and live updates! Please note that I already know this is a bad decision...but I need to start using that Twitter account eventually...especially if I am going to be going out with 22 year olds.