Wednesday, August 25, 2010

WTF Wednesday...Da Return

So this is totally last semester, but a recent article in the Cincinnati Enquirer on Miami University reminded me of this story...a story that legitimately makes me feel like there is NO HOPE for the future of America.  You may have heard the tale of the Pi Beta Phi sorority who trashed their dance venue in Parkersburg, WV....

When I was in a sorority, vomiting in the trashcans and peeing in the sinks was commonplace (not classy, but common)...Drinking to excess? Who didn't !?! Puking on the bus? Sure. Making out with your date on the dance floor? Obvi!  I once was sober exec at a dance where 39 people were arrested for underage drinking- so I am no stranger to sorostitute scandal.  But nearly EVERY college kid drinks before age 21 almost all of them puke or make out in public at one time or another....

BUT these girls took public indecency and disorderly conduct to a whole new level...Even I am embarrassed for them...I think I actually blushed while reading some of these reports.  To put it in terms that we can all understand- even the Jersey Shore castmates would give them the stink eye!

The full report of the sorostitutes' behavior can be found here.

In Honor of WHAT THE FUCK?!?! Wednesday, I shall share my favorite excepts from this report:
The professional bartender hired for the event personally witnessed a couple engaging in sexual congress, while surrounded by a cheering throng. The catering team interrupted two of your members engaging in sexual relations under of the banquet tables.
 Seriously?  It is one thing to have sex in a dorm room while your roommate pretends to be asleep 15ft away and another to bang on a dance floor while your closest frenemies cheer you on...this isn't Amsterdam!! Live Sex Shows are not OK. WTF?!?

Sexually assaulting a female bartender at a sorority dance?  Are these kids on PCP?   Then attempting to bite the hand that feeds you? The woman who kept them in Nati Light and Captain Morgan all night- they attempted to steal tips from her apron? The worst thing I have ever done is try to sneak behind the bar at a wedding to pour myself some free champagne....but I still tipped!  Can I get a What the EFF?


Feces?  FECES?? FECES?!?! Why on God's Green Earth would you bring a boy to a dance who says things like, "Hey Bros, wanna come outside and watch me violently lose control of my bowels all over the side of a building?" OR bring one of the friends who said, "YUP! Forget these drunk slutty bitches running around having public sex...I want to see SHIT!" It might as well be 2 Frats, 1 cup. GEEZ!  WTF?


Again, I say FECES?!?! IN? THE? URINALS???  What the fuck is wrong with these kids...I can't even call them a different generation than me...the biggest mess I ever made in college was once when I nursed a broke heart with about 8 redbull & vodkas, I came home and puked down the side of my bed and a little of it got on Bitchy Little Rat Dog's cage...(I was a young mom, ok!)   And one or 2 pieces of chewing gum is likely the norm...I mean, shit happens (no pun intended....urinals? Jesus!) but 13 pieces of gum ground into the carpet...its like they were all chewing gum and decided to spit it out simultaneously as they prepared to publicly felate their dates...but really...WTF?!?

I won't even go into the Alpha Xi Delta dance at the Underground Railroad Freedom Center where they trashed the museum and tried to pee in a priceless artifact- a preserved slave pen.  I have never said something so old sounding in my life, but KIDS THESE DAYS!!! Can't live with em, can't retire on Social Security without em.

9 comments:

  1. I totally read about this! SO gross! The Pi Beta Phi at my school aren't much better... they're kind of whore-y. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow... just wow... I'm suddenly very glad that I managed to avoid sorority culture when I was in college.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sounds like these kids had the best party ever...

    ReplyDelete
  4. I draw the line at fecees.. seriously.. who does that. Public sex I can live with.. but shit.. no effing way. Funny Blog.. right up my alley.

    ~Pavla

    www.thedramaticcomedyofmylife.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. Um...okay. Sexual freedom good. Public bowel emptying bad.

    Simple.

    Was (believe it or not) NOT a sorostitue at Uni, and always felt secretly (blatantly) smug.

    Thanks for the reaffirmation of my good decisions.

    - B x

    ReplyDelete
  6. That.is.disgusto. It sounds like a bunch of over-privileged, ill-mannered, douchebag assholes of human beings had a hay day at the height of their assholedom. I'm afraid for the future if these little fuckers are the future of America. I'm all for poo humor but taking a fucking DUMP in public...not cool. Ah ma gah.

    ReplyDelete
  7. That.is.disgusto. It sounds like a bunch of over-privileged, ill-mannered, douchebag assholes of human beings had a hay day at the height of their assholedom. I'm afraid for the future if these little fuckers are the future of America. I'm all for poo humor but taking a fucking DUMP in public...not cool. Ah ma gah.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wow... just wow... I'm suddenly very glad that I managed to avoid sorority culture when I was in college.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I draw the line at fecees.. seriously.. who does that. Public sex I can live with.. but shit.. no effing way. Funny Blog.. right up my alley.

    ~Pavla

    www.thedramaticcomedyofmylife.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

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