Thursday, September 2, 2010

Haute Mess of the Week

I have decided that there are just some things that really work my perm every week- and they deserve their own little spotlight- from the cast of the Jersey Shore, to Lindsay Lohan's "touching" interview with Vanity Fair, to whatever else is notably going on this week- there is one thing that has officially been dissed worse than all of that....This week's Haute Mess of the Week (the first ever HM of the week) is ....
MY DELL DESKTOP PC

In my bedroom, I keep my 5 year old, dinosaur PC because it is mine...I bought it with my first hard earned paycheck when I started my "grown up job."  My beloved Mac Book is a work computer- which means that it can always be taken away from me...so I have to keep my slower than Donna Martin PC, just in case!  However, in her advanced age, she isn't what she used to be. 

While attempting to update my iPhone software this week, I logged onto the Dellasaurus Rex.  I started up iTunes, turned on the shower, let the water get warm, brushed my teeth, washed my face/hair/body, shaved my legs and armpits, toweled off, lotion'd up, wrapped my towel around me, and went back to my computer to check on the status.  Good old Farmer in the Dell was HUMMING....literally HUMMING...Feck. No iTunes yet.  So I sit there and start fiddling with the windows and click on the iTunes icon 3 more times.  Finally, thing start moving and the damn thing opens up. 

Once iTunes was finally open, and my poor old PC finally recognized my iPhone as an external device.  I "hurriedly" (HA!) clicked the "UPDATE" button for a software update.

FAIL.

I need the new version of iTunes before I can download new software for my iPhone.  Jeez Louise, I already knew that would take forever.  So I start the download process...three times.  Third time was a charm and it actually started to download.  At which point, my Delly was growling at me.  I looked at the "time left" on my download and it was stuck on 2min, for about five minutes.

So I calmly yelled, EFF YOU! And went to my bathroom, picked up my epilator, and prepared my bikini area for Vegas.
Noun1.epilatorepilator - a cosmetic for temporary removal of undesired hair
An epilator is an electrical device used to remove hair by mechanically grasping multiple hairs simultaneously and pulling them out. The way in which epilators pull out hair is similar to waxing,  except slower...taking a longer, more painful amount of time.

YES...I chose to pluck out my pubic hair one by one instead of using my Dell Computer anymore. 


You Might Be A HauteMess If...
People would rather pluck out their own pubic hair one by one than play with you...

3 comments:

  1. You are a braver woman than I! I only ever used an epilator on my lady bits ONCE, and I think I was curled up on a ball sobbing for about three hours. A bikini wax with superglue and sandpaper might actually feel better than using one of those things...

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  2. You are a braver woman than I! I only ever used an epilator on my lady bits ONCE, and I think I was curled up on a ball sobbing for about three hours. A bikini wax with superglue and sandpaper might actually feel better than using one of those things...

    ReplyDelete

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