1. I realized that I am not comfortable meeting up with people that I met from online because I am convinced that they are significantly more likely to kidnap me, cut me into pieces, and cook me over an open flame. I mean, yes- I realize that creepers can still hit on me at a bar, but I think that my in-person instincts are much more in tune than my online ones.
2. I am tired of meeting 23 year olds and 39 year olds. At least at bars, I tend to only go to places where people my age gather. Plus, my gaydar is a lot more accurate in person than online.
3. Homely, overweight hermits don't try to talk to me at bars, so I don't feel like such a bitch all the time with my standard, "Thank you so much for the compliment. You are too sweet. Unfortunately, I don't think that we would be a good match." And by match, I mean that you physically disgust me and I try to avoid situations that lead to extreme nausea.
4. Everyone's profile looks the exact same...they like to work out, spend time with family, want to travel more, learn to cook, and be awesome. NEWSFLASH- walking to your car and driving to work does not count as working out! And heating up a Hot Pocket does not equal cooking. I mean, at least when you get to know someone in person you can ask really strong follow up questions to make sure that people can back up their shit.
5. I am just shallow enough to admit that looks matter. THEY DO. Get over it.
7. If you are attractive AND have a magnetic personality- YOU ARE LIKELY NOT ON OK CUPID. I mean, I tried it out- so it isn't impossible to find someone who is a total catch. (according to my mom) BUT, the odds are just too low to spend time perusing through profiles and replying to private messages.
8. I never got one of those emails letting me know that I was really attractive and that they were going to start showing me hotter matches. I'm not good enought for THEM?!?! Well, fuck off. OK Cupid, You aren't good enough for me!!