Monday, November 1, 2010

The Halloween Score

This Halloween, I return home richer in so many ways.  I spent the weekend with my best friends from my sorority (don't hate! everyone wants to be a chi omega, everyone knows we're RED HOT!) (ed. note: I sort of want to erase that because I recognize and accept how fucking douchey it was...but they don't call me Haute Mess for nothing!) Anyhow, it was a successful girls weekend with a side of shit show- I feel so rich, let me count the ways!
  1. I now have an AWESOME new toast!  While sipping on a $27 glass of wine (well, $13.50 since it was half priced for happy hour and I was treating myself!), the bartender asked if we wanted a refill.  While I was considering this option, he simply said, "Well, Y2K didn't happen, so we should celebrate that."  To which loudly guffawed and shouted back, "I probably still have some supplies left to drink down in my bomb shelter."  From now on when folks are passing out shots, I shall loudly toast, "Thank God Y2K never happened!"
  2. I can add a brand new costume to my closet o' costumes. Sweet Dee from "Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia" episode of "The Nightman Cometh."  Unfortunately, I didn't get to wear it out on Saturday night because I couldn't raise my arms above my elbows...which was a nip slip, wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen. But I did wear it around my house enough to take some appropriate facebook pictures in this costume as well as my real Saturday night costume.
  3. I discovered a new fallback career: Costume Consultant.  I transformed a few pieces of used clothing from a surly fucking hag running a going out of business thrift & costume shop.  I was able to create a Wendy and a Gaga for Madame MarriedMess and Miss GingerMess.  I was so impressed with myself that I chugged an inordinate amount of vodka to celebrate.
  4. I learned how to make a new drink- a BULLFROG!  (a.k.a. Hillbilly Crack for Kids) Diet Mt. Dew + Powdered Kool Aid Mix + Vodka.  It is deceptively strong and deceptively nauseating.  After chugging one of those babies- I bounced myself into an early coma. (see above)
  5. I purchased THIS tee shirt...Nuff said.


  1. We had something like a Bullfrog in college. It was Vodka, beer and powdered pink lemonade. I still have nightmares.

  2. Hillbilly Crack!!!! I love it.

    Gaga is looking amazing there.

  3. Sweet lady gaga, I had hoped I would never hear about the Bull Frog again! I love the toast, too... I may be {read: I totally am} borrowing it!

    I'm a new follower and I'm already obsessed!



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