Wednesday, November 17, 2010

WHAT THE SHIT?!?! Wednesday

In previous WHAT THE $#!% Wednesdays, I have examined the perils of reality TV stars invading the NY Stock Exchange and Sorostitutes defecating and fornicating in public....but the topic that I am about to share today is by far more shocking and disturbing...

While riding in to the office today, I heard the radio DJs discussing something that made my eyes bug out of my head, my stomach wretch, and my mouth giggle just a little.  I have found my new worst engagement nightmare...

CREMATION DIAMONDS!  That's right, folks- if you were wondering what to do with MeeMaw now that her dead body has been burned to ashes?  Perhaps you find the urn to be totally unflattering to her figure?  Or maybe you don't want to scatter the remains because she wasn't so much of an "outdoorsy" person? 

Why not keep those charred remains close to your heart (and jewelry box) FOREVER!?!  Nothing says "Forever" quite like a diamond!  Now, dead people diamonds can be a girl's best friend!

If you love someone, DON'T set them free!  Chemically alter their ashes to form a sparkly reminder of the life they no longer lead.  HOT!

WHAT.THE.SHIT.BALLS.FUCKETY.FUCK?!?  What is wrong with people?

P.S. If you can't wait for someone to die to turn them into a diamond, they can use human hair as well.  Forget donating your locks to kids with cancer, make diamonds from them!!

14 comments:

  1. can you imagine holding out your hand with an engagement ring saying "Its my Mom! No, the ring wasn't hers, literally the stone was my Mother."

    fucking creepy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. These have been around for YEARS and they are quite popular. I know of two people who lost family members suddenly and had a piece of jewelry made to commemorate their memory.

    Quite frankly, I don't think anyone is trying to sell these for engagement rings, but there was a really sad story about a woman who lost her teenage daughter thanks to a drunk driver. She had some of her remains used to create the stone for a pendant necklace and she said how much comfort it brought her to have a piece of her daughter with her at all times.

    I really don't see anything wrong with it. People keep other mementos that remind them of a lost loved one.

    It's only creepy if you make it creepy and it's kind of immature to look at it that way.

    No one if forcing this on anyone.

    ReplyDelete
  3. @Ms. E - my thoughts exactly!

    @P.Y.T. - that is my worst nightmare, right behind having to ask the man myself!

    @Autumn - everyone is entitled to their own method of dealing with grief...I am entitled to personally find it creepy (in the most mature way possible, trust). My satirical commentary is not directed at grieving families- but at the fact that this even exists. You have to admit that it is a completely LUDICROUS concept- "Hey, you know what has a lot of carbon in it? Dead bodies that were cremated! Let's make some CZ out of them."

    ReplyDelete
  4. Meet Me In St LouisNovember 17, 2010 at 4:46 PM

    I disagree with Autumn 100%. Keeping a memento FROM your loved ones who have passed - like an old watch from grandpa or a pair of earrings from grandma - is COMPLETELY different from wearing their remains...BARF.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ummm this is beyond disturbing. Who buys these things?!?

    xx,
    Delilah

    ReplyDelete
  6. What the fuck? These people can't be serious. This is so gross and twisted and wrong and all sorts of shit. Ewww-uh.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I know someone who has cremation jewerly of her mother -- I find it freaking creepy.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I know someone who has cremation jewerly of her mother -- I find it freaking creepy.

    ReplyDelete
  9. What the fuck? These people can't be serious. This is so gross and twisted and wrong and all sorts of shit. Ewww-uh.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Meet Me In St LouisMarch 22, 2011 at 5:04 PM

    I disagree with Autumn 100%. Keeping a memento FROM your loved ones who have passed - like an old watch from grandpa or a pair of earrings from grandma - is COMPLETELY different from wearing their remains...BARF.

    ReplyDelete
  11. These have been around for YEARS and they are quite popular. I know of two people who lost family members suddenly and had a piece of jewelry made to commemorate their memory.

    Quite frankly, I don't think anyone is trying to sell these for engagement rings, but there was a really sad story about a woman who lost her teenage daughter thanks to a drunk driver. She had some of her remains used to create the stone for a pendant necklace and she said how much comfort it brought her to have a piece of her daughter with her at all times.

    I really don't see anything wrong with it. People keep other mementos that remind them of a lost loved one.

    It's only creepy if you make it creepy and it's kind of immature to look at it that way.

    No one if forcing this on anyone.

    ReplyDelete

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