In previous WHAT THE $#!% Wednesdays, I have examined the perils of reality TV stars invading the NY Stock Exchange and Sorostitutes defecating and fornicating in public....but the topic that I am about to share today is by far more shocking and disturbing...
While riding in to the office today, I heard the radio DJs discussing something that made my eyes bug out of my head, my stomach wretch, and my mouth giggle just a little. I have found my new worst engagement nightmare...
CREMATION DIAMONDS! That's right, folks- if you were wondering what to do with MeeMaw now that her dead body has been burned to ashes? Perhaps you find the urn to be totally unflattering to her figure? Or maybe you don't want to scatter the remains because she wasn't so much of an "outdoorsy" person?
Why not keep those charred remains close to your heart (and jewelry box) FOREVER!?! Nothing says "Forever" quite like a diamond! Now, dead people diamonds can be a girl's best friend!
If you love someone, DON'T set them free! Chemically alter their ashes to form a sparkly reminder of the life they no longer lead. HOT!
WHAT.THE.SHIT.BALLS.FUCKETY.FUCK?!? What is wrong with people?
P.S. If you can't wait for someone to die to turn them into a diamond, they can use human hair as well. Forget donating your locks to kids with cancer, make diamonds from them!!