Tuesday, December 28, 2010

I'm Not Shallow - I Just Care About Looks

One of the most important, universally accepted and understood rating systems is the Scale of 1-10.  This is most commonly used to quantify attactiveness.  And if you are being diplomatic, it can also be used to quantify personality...but this isn't as much fun as judging someone purely on the external beauty.

I once got in a debate with someone about "What's the Lowest Number You Would Date?" 

I stand by my decision, even in the face of being called shallow.  The lowest I would be willing to date is a 6.  I may dip to a 5.5 if I truly believed it rounds up to a 6.   THAT IS NOT SHALLOW!  That is realistic.

The opponent in this argument claimed that he would be willing to date a 4 with a really great personality.  BULLSHIT.  Unless of course this person is also honest with himself, and recognizes that he is only a 4.  Either way- I don't buy it.

A scale of 1-10 is 100% objective...beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.  Theoretically, one man's 8 may be another man's 4.  That is why I wouldn't date anyone that I deem "below average."  How many hot relationships start with you saying to your friends, "I am so attracted to his below average looks!  I mean, I find 60% of people more attractive than him...and that's what I love most."  NONE.  

I must find a man above average looking to be attracted to him...I don't particularly care if every woman in the world would also give him a rating of 6 or higher- but if I can't look at him and think, "Damn! He is one good looking mother fucker!" then I will never want get naked around him and do dirty things.  I have tried.  It doesn't work.  I lose interest or have to be drunk.  Either way- not good.

BUT I don't judge my scale of attractiveness PURELY on looks.  So ugly dudes still have a shot if they have other redeeming qualities.  I give "point boosters" for other things that make me swoon.  

POINT BOOSTERS INCLUDE (but not limited to):
- Sense of humor (Seth Rogan is my example here...now that he has lost weight and all)
- Foreign accent (totally makes up for Hugh Grant's hideous teeth)
- Musical skills like singing/guitar/drums (like the Beatles were ever ACTUALLY cute without those instruments)
- Swagger/Confidence (Jay-Z is would be a 4 without his swagger) 

So a 4 face could totally become a 6+ with the right skillz and personality.  I think this is more than generous.

Call me shallow.  Call me crazy.  But, really, am I wrong? What is the lowest you would date?

14 comments:

  1. I don't know why people are so afraid to admit that looks are important. They are. As long as you don't date people ONLY because of their good looks, it's fine. I sure as hell don't want to date an ugly person. And I am not going to have sex with an ugly person. I wouldn't date a 4 even if he had the personality of the most awesome person on earth. I would be his friend, but nothing more than that. You have to be sexually attracted to your person, and if you think he/she is ugly, then that won't happen.

    I honestly think people say they'd date a "personality guy/girl" only because they are probably insecure about their own attractiveness and feel defensive. Or they are just an idealists that is somewhat pompous and has no idea how the real world works.

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  2. My friend and I have a 3 fault rule. Could be anything, if he is to short theres one, ugly teeth? there's two. Third strike you are out. Nothing below a 6 though. Nope. Won't do it all though I have in the past.

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  3. Oh and I forgot to answer your question. The lowest I would date is a 7. But he just has to be a 7 to me, not the whole world.

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  4. I feel the exact same way. You also have those who are "universally attractive" verses those who are attractive based on the brownie-points system. I have only dated one or two guys who were an 8 or so based on the UA scale. All the rest have been the funny, doofy kind who have won their way into my heart.

    I guess Marilyn Monroe was right when she said "If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything."

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  5. i think the point reducers important too. there's always the guy who looks like a nine ... until he speaks.

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  6. @Lilly- I agree! I would ideally date an 8+, but I am also realistic about the men I have loved in the past- at the time they seemed like a 7-10, but now, well...those point boosters can cloud a girl's judgment!

    @.. - I LOVE the 3 strike rule! Do you ever give all 3 strikes for one heinous offense? Like REALLY REALLY bad teeth? :)

    @Nikki Jo - I have never heard that quote before...but I can say definitively that it is TRUE! I would rather be with a funny guy than a kind one. :)

    @Just Sayin - me too!

    @ Anonymous - true- what are your point reducers?

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  7. Looks are TOTALLY important. I dated this guy I'd say was probably a 5. We looked weird together. But I'd known him forever and absolutely LOVED him as a person. But it just ended up dying! Equality is very important on every level for a successful relationship.

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  8. Hahah i love how bluntly honest this post is. and i totally agree with you. shallow or not, no one wants to be dating the 4.

    i don't think i would go below a 7, because i feel like it would bring me down by association

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  9. Hahah i love how bluntly honest this post is. and i totally agree with you. shallow or not, no one wants to be dating the 4.

    i don't think i would go below a 7, because i feel like it would bring me down by association

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  10. I don't know why people are so afraid to admit that looks are important. They are. As long as you don't date people ONLY because of their good looks, it's fine. I sure as hell don't want to date an ugly person. And I am not going to have sex with an ugly person. I wouldn't date a 4 even if he had the personality of the most awesome person on earth. I would be his friend, but nothing more than that. You have to be sexually attracted to your person, and if you think he/she is ugly, then that won't happen.

    I honestly think people say they'd date a "personality guy/girl" only because they are probably insecure about their own attractiveness and feel defensive. Or they are just an idealists that is somewhat pompous and has no idea how the real world works.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh and I forgot to answer your question. The lowest I would date is a 7. But he just has to be a 7 to me, not the whole world.

    ReplyDelete

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