Sunday, January 2, 2011

My 2010 Time Capsule

Yes, I made a time capsule.  At my New Year's Eve party.  With drunk people. BRILLIANT!

It wasn't like I had anyone to make out with at midnight this year- so I decided to make this New Year's even more MEMORABLE.

It has always been on my bucket list to create a Time Capsule, so I took the opportunity to close out the decade with a fun little "Best of 2010" Time Capsule Memory Book. 

I took the old "Book of Quotes" started in 2006 and created Time Capsule Pages to be filled in during my New Year's Party.  We left the book out all night for guests to fill in their personal answers to "Best of 2010" categories like: Memory, Song, Movie, Reality Star, etc.  And some other fun categories like "Biggest Trainwreck of the Decade" and "Worst Makeout of 2010."

I have used a very scientific algorithm to determine that there is an inverse relationship between drunkenness and good penmanship, and also answers ridiculousness is directly related to number of drinks consumed at the time.  In 10 years, I shall look back on this wonderful piece of history and think the following things:
1) Thank GOD I remembered where I put this...and thank GOD no future anthropologists will ever see this!
2) My friends are assholes.
3) Who are these people??


EXCERPTS FROM "THE BOOK OF QUOTES (2006-2010) and TIME CAPSULE 2010"

Best Memory of 2010:
  • Playing chat roulette with Mr. GayMess & Senorita CalienteMess (who happens to be wearing a stocking on her face) while drunk on Slim Fast & Vodka smoothies. -HauteMess
  • The Las Vegas Strip adventure - tormenting tourists with whipped cream and a creepy mannequin head. -HauteMess
  • Meeting my new puppy. -Mr. MarriedMess (ed. note: barf!)
  • Meeting new friends and grad school -Party Rando
Favorite Song of 2010:
  • "Young Forever" Jay-Z  -HauteMess
  • "Paper Plans" M.I.A. (for the 3rd year on a row) -Captain Inappropriate
  • Ke$ha - MF "Your Love Is My Drug" -Mr. GayMess
  • "Psychotic Girl" Black Keys -Senorita CalienteMess
  • "Bed Intruder" Antoine Dodson -Bitchy Little Rat Dog
Favorite Movie of 2010
  • "Harry Potter 7; Part 1" and "Black Swan" -HauteMess
  • "The Town" starring Mr. Ben Affleck -Captain Inappropriate
  • "Inception" (it's real!) -Mr. MarriedMess (agreed!) -Madame MarriedMess
  • "Black Swan" x2 - DARREN ARONOFSKY!!! -Senorita CalienteMess
  • I din't see no MF films. -Mr. GayMess
Favorite Reality TV Star of 2010 (ed note: this one is harder to capture because at this point people stopped following the lines on the paper and drawing illustrations)
  • "The Situation" - HauteMess (me too! -Party Rando)
  • NO CONTEST "Deadliest Warrior" -Captain Inappropriate
  • J-Wow and Snookie -Madame MarriedMess
  • Pawn Stars Bitches! -Mr. GayMess (ed. note: wha???)
Biggest Celeb Trainwreck of the Decade
  • Tara Reid and her belly -HauteMess
  • Tiger Woods -Captain Inappropriate
  • Nick Nolte Fo reals -Madame MarriedMess
  • Mel Gibson -Senorita CalienteMess
  • "They all fuckin nasty" -Mr. GayMess
Favorite Fashion Trend 2010 (please note that this page was typically viewed after consuming ~4 alcoholic beverages.)
  • "Knit skinny ties and no undies" -Mr. MarriedMess
  • "MC Hammer Pants" -Madame MarriedMess
  • "SPANX! Yeah!" -Mr. MarriedMess
  • "Those really tight tapered jeans that the skinny emo-esk boys wear." -Captain Inappropriate (ed. note: he's not really a "speller")
  • "MF Jeggings." -Mr. GayMess
  • "Bangs." -HauteMess
  • "Swing Jackets" -Anonymous
  • "Fuggs" -Anonymous
Worst Makeout 2010
  • Captain Inappropriate -Madame MarriedMess
  • Captain Inappropriate -Senorita CalienteMess
  • Captain Inappropriate -Snooki
  • Captain Inappropriate -J-Wow
  • Captain Inappropriate -The Situation
  • Stabby Tongue -Senorita CalienteMess (ed note: I would like to nominate him for worst of the DECADE!)

Now...some of you may be wondering "Who is this Captain Inappropriate and why is he called that?"  I now present you with the contents of the final page of the Time Capsule...

Favorite Black Person 2010 - A WRITE IN CATEGORY AUTHORED BY AND FILLED OUT PERHAPS EXCLUSIVELY BY CAPTAIN INAPPROPRIATE HIMSELF....
  • "Halle Berry no 
  •  Tiger Woods no
  • Barack Obama no
  • Michael Jackson = more dead
  • Tracy Morgan - Ding, ding, ding- we have a winner!!!" -Captain Inappropriate
  • Forrest Gump -Anonymous
And with that? See ya later 2010! 

6 comments:

  1. I am crying at my desk because I am laughing so hard. "Favorite Black Person 2010" you fucking kill me.

    ReplyDelete
  2. What a awesome idea-until next year...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am crying at my desk because I am laughing so hard. "Favorite Black Person 2010" you fucking kill me.

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