Monday, January 3, 2011

New Year's Resolutions: The Reality Edition

I hate New Year's Resolutions...mostly because it makes parking at the gym more difficult.   I also hate them because I don't like setting goals and standards that I have no intention of reaching.  I could say that I vow to lose 10lbs this year...but I have wanted to do that every year since I was 14.  I mean, while that COULD happen, why not be more realistic?

Because reality doesn't seem all that sexy.

Lofty, unreachable goals are sexy in the same way that bad boys are sexy.  Even if only for a brief moment in time, you believe with all your heart that you(he) can change.  It lasts the customary 6-12weeks before the crash and burn.  The heartbreak.  The defeat. The 48hour pajama & ice cream fest.

While I still haven't learned to apply this wisdom to my penchant for assholes, I HAVE applied what I know to setting goals for myself...heartbreak free!

Realistic New Year's Resolutions:
  1. Waste less money groceries.  I have the best intentions every time I hit the store- I truly believe I will pack my lunch every day and cook myself dinner to save money and be healthy.  Yet every garbage day, I am dumping stinky, rotting veggies and whatever else I didn't put in the freezer.  I am just too social to stay in every night for dinner.  I am my own worst rather than trying to "save so much money" by cooking at home (then letting the food spoil), I will just buy less.  And when in doubt, freeze it!
  2. Promise to attempt Dukan Diet again.  IT WORKED last time!  But I have a love affair with carbs, and like a moth to flame I fell off the no-carb wagon in a big way this holiday season.  I am not vowing to lose a certain amount of weight...I am just vowing to try the diet again. So it's a win-win!  I do it and lose weight- WIN!  I try it and fail- still followed through on the resolution! WIN!
  3. Go on more dates.  This one works well because I didn't date a whole lot in the bar is very low.  I don't know how I am going to pull this off exactly because I don't have total control.  I mean, someone has to either ask me or say yes when I ask- BUT I am willing to try.
  4. Continue to abstain from smoking.  I have never smoked a cigarette in my life, so this should be easy enough. 
  5. Watch every season of Golden Girls on DVD.  No explanation needed.
What about you?  Any lofty (or not so lofty) goals this year?


  1. My weight resolution is similar. I'm not vowing to lose a certain amount or even work out a certain amount. I'm just aiming at not looking like Gilbert Grape's mother.

    Want more detail?

  2. None whatsoever.

    But, you's hard when you radiate awesomeness as I do.

    Kisses for 2011, sugar.

    - B x

  3. I hate the first two weeks of the year at the gym! All those newbies over crowding for the rest of us!

  4. I kind of love these. I to partake in the Dunkin Diet and I have found that I can stretch a Great One almost all day if I get busy. Gross? Wrong? does work.



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