Tuesday, January 11, 2011

The Year of "Yes" : 2011

Before you ask- let me clear something up...

Yes, I saw "Yes Man" with Jim Carrey and Zooey Deschanel.

No, this wasn't inspired by the movie.

Yes, they totally ripped that idea off of me - I had my first year of "YES" in 2009.

In 2009, I declared the "YEAR OF YES."  That is when I discovered that although I have absolutely no athletic prowess I could run a half marathon, I could survive a 5 day camping trip without even liking the outdoors, there aren't enough substances out there to make me like The Grateful Dead,  getting a 4th tattoo doesn't exactly make me trashy, and switching careers isn't as scary as I thought it would be.  2009 was a great year.  2010 was above average- but I want 2011 to be my best year yet. 

I was inspired to reinstate the YES principal for 2011 last night while hanging out with Mademoiselle BlondeMess.

We were watching "The Bachelor" last night and making fun of the stupid women who cry at the end. Keltie (the Rockette with the worst Ombre Hair I have ever seen) was all hysterical about how she is meant to be alone because she has exhausted all avenues of meeting new people to date.



I was all like, "Oh whatever, freak! Like the odds of winning The Bachelor and getting married are better than getting hit by lightning? This does NOT mean you are destined to be alone.  It LIKELY means you should reconsider your hair color (ed. note: you are no Whitney Port, master of Ombre hair)...but NOT that you are going to die alone surrounded by cats."
Then my ADHD brain started skipping around like a woodland fairy and I shouted out, "HEY! Remember your friend who lives in New York City and went on 50 first dates from January to June in 2010?"  Mademoiselle BlondeMess nodded, with a slight look of "How did you get here and where are you going with this?"
Me: "Well I have done the math...and I have only been on 9 first dates in the past 5 years."
BlondeMess: "That's not a fair comparison because you had a few long relationships in there."
Me: "Yeah- but still!  If I don't count text flirting or drunken makeouts, I have only been on 9 FIRST dates!!  And only 3 first dates in all of 2010.  One of those started dating 21 year old and the another bit me.  I have a new year's resolution to go on more dates this year...I think I need more help than Keltie!"
BlondeMess: "Ooh!  I could totally take over for you.  What if I made a list and you had to try everything on it??"
Me: "Like what?"
BlondeMess: "Like speed dating...."
Me: "Sure.  If nothing else, it will make a great blog."
BlondeMess: "Speed dating using only a British accent. AND you can place an ad in the Cincinnati Enquirer!"
Me: "No fucking way!  That's how people get killed!"

Then I looked at my phone and saw that I had 2 missed calls, a text, and a voicemail from my mother.  Most people may be concerned when shit like that happens.  However, my parents are the exception to the emergency contact rule.  In case of emergency, they usually just text blunt, insensitive messages.  Once at work I received, "Grandpa had a stroke. He will probably die." To which I immediately burst into tears, startling all coworkers around me.  Or this summer when I received the text, "Mom fell down the basement stairs.  I called 911. She is in ambulance. Will call later." WTF?!?

I digress.  The point is, when I saw the frenzy of contact from my mom, I immediately knew it was something unimportant.  When she called again, I answered just to be sure.
Me: "Hello?"
Mom: "In 8 minutes they will tell you how to become an extra in George Clooney's new movie that shoots here in Cincinnati.  Turn on the 11 o'clock news on channel 9!!"
Me: "Really?  That is what this is all about?"
Mom: "Oh come on!  Just do it."

That is when I suddenly realized I have taken one giant step towards becoming boring.  I have become a "NO MAN!"

It IS on my bucket list to be an extra on TV or a Movie.  And personal ads worked out just fine for Madonna in "Desperately Seeking Susan."

SO...I declared 2011 to be a brand new "YEAR OF YES," emailed the casting company for George Clooney's new movie called "Ides of March," and gave partial control of my dating life over to Mademoiselle BlondeMess.  (more info on her plan for me in a future blog post!)

What do you recommend for my "YEAR OF YES?"

11 comments:

  1. Hi, loving your blog, I too am going to brave the waters of speed dating.. on Valentines day no less. Hey i figure its better than staying at home pretending I am fine about the lack of men lining up at my door.
    Go 2011, its gonna be awesome

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  2. Haha, this sounds very similar to my new mantra! Oh how many things do we do for blog fodder? ;)

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  3. Sounds great! I went speed dating on New Year's Eve and did the whole thing with a British accent. But I live in London so maybe that's less impressive.

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  4. Being an extra is interesting, but only once. Unless it's paid the second time. I posted a Criagslist personal ad, went on a date, it was interesting, I did not die. DO BOTH THEY'RE SUPER AWESOME.

    Also, take a class in something. Eveeryone's all about that class stuff.

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  5. Good for you!!! I made 2009 my year to do one fun thing every day...this year, I'm running as many events as possible. make this your year!

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  6. Love it! Can't wait to hear about your dating stories. I'm trying to get back in the dating game as well... Happy New Year!

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  7. just don't say yes to dates with men who give you the creeper vibe... maybe hit on some dudes in a bookstore... or maybe this is bad advice, are guys at bookstores creepers?

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  8. Sounds great! I went speed dating on New Year's Eve and did the whole thing with a British accent. But I live in London so maybe that's less impressive.

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  9. Haha, this sounds very similar to my new mantra! Oh how many things do we do for blog fodder? ;)

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