After the Great Flood, I assumed that I had cashed in all my bad luck chips for 2011. A toilet that broke and destroyed my 1st floor ceiling & walls and my second floor flooring and carpet seemed pretty poignant. It was like the Universe saying, "GET YOUR LIFE OUT OF THE SHITTER!"
I feel like I truly learned the lesson and started making strides. I made a "Grow The Fuck Up" To Do list that included repairing things around my house that have been broken for years. For example, put batteries in the smoke alarm that died 2.5 years ago, replace the 6 out of 8 lightbulbs in my bathroom that had gone out, ACTUALLY sell the treadmill that was sitting in my garage with a for sale sign on it for the past 9months, etc. I have been feeling very responsible and grown up lately. (never mind the 6 month old keg in my garage that I haven't returned...)
THEN BAM! This morning, while driving to pilates, a mother fucking deer with a death wish HITS ME! (technically we hit each other, but it was totally his fault) I am not inured, thank goodness. But my poor car!
Not only did that fucker destroy the front of my car....but he POOPED on me! He ran into my car and then POOPED ON ME!
I am not 100% sure that these two things are related, but last night I kicked Bitchy Little Rat Dog out of bed and told her that she was being "a little shit." That bitch was NOT pleased.
Then this morning, I get attacked by a large, angry deer who dropped a big shit...on my car.
Coincidence? I think not. Karma? Maybe. Creepy "Firestarter-like" Mind Control from BLRD? Likely.
When life hands you lemons, aren't you supposed to make Vodka & Lemonade? (or something like that) But what if life hands you a pile of deer shit and an overflowing toilet?