"Who are your top 5?"
Me: "Top 5 what? Worst Makeouts? Because stabby tongue wins all five even though I only kissed him once."
Mme. MarriedMess: "Top 5 Free Passes for Sex."
Me: "Ooh! I have never heard of having 5! I thought husbands only give you 1!"
Mme. MarriedMess: "Yeah, well, what he doesn't know won't hurt him."
Madame MarriedMess and Senorita CalienteMess shared 3 of the top 5 - making them eskimo sisters in my books. George Clooney. Ryan Gosling. And some other boring answer I have honestly forgotten by now. Ryan Gosling was hot in exactly one movie - The Notebook. And he was really only hot to me in the scene where he shouts in the rain, "It wasn't over. It's STILL not over" and grabs Rachel McAdams by the rear, hoists her up onto his love member and runs back into the house to ravage her. Ok, pretty hot.
BUT- It wasn't until MarriedMess proclaimed her fifth and final choice that I stopped picturing a wet Ryan Gosling undressing himself and was snapped back into the conversation with my full attention.
Mme. MarriedMess: "And finally, Jordan Catalano. Not Jared Leto. Not even Jared Leto as Jordan Catalano. I want to fuck the kid who can't read!"
AMAZE BALLS! This adds a whole new element! Opening up the Top 5 not just to include people who are hot and sexy TODAY but an added time machine element is involved??? Any male star/character, of any era, you name it - you got it! I thought my head may explode.
Sean Connery circa James Bond? Yum.
Tom Cruise circa Top Gun (and plus 8inches of height? OK!
Randy "Pink Floyd" Pinkerton from Dazed and Confused? I may have just finished.
Daniel Tosh or Joel McHale? Funny is sexy!
Chevy Chase from the early 80's? I just want to grab on to that long hair and ride him like a pony...
But alas, I settled on my Top 5...I proudly stand by all these choices.
1) David Beckham.
2) Robert Redford circa 1974
3) Matthew McConaughey circa A Time To Kill
4) Alexander Skarsgaard
LOVE vampires. I want him on top of me NOW. I have seen him many a sex scene on "True Blood" and that fuels roughly 50% of my dirty thoughts and dreams. He is one of the few Hollywood Stars that is tall enough for me in real life...he is like 6'5" or something awesome....those piercing blue eyes, that chiseled physique...bite me, Eric Northman, bite me!
5) Sawyer from Lost
obsessed with Lost. Partially because JJ Abrams fucks my brain sideways every time I watch it, and partially because I like to picture Sawyer fucking ME sideways. He is hilarious, and gritty, and sexy, and raw...he is all that is the Stetson Man.
Holy shit, I need a cold shower. Apparently I am into chiseled, rugged, blond hair & blue eyed, bad boy, Ken Dolls with hearts of gold. If you know of any in real life, please send them my way!
Who are your top 5?