I am a giant baby when I get sick...you know this. This week, while traipsing through Downtown Cincinnati on an epic pub crawl (more details on that later) - I was suddenly struck down by the hand of God. Mucus, mucus everywhere, and I couldn't swallow my drink. The doc says I have tonsillitis and an ear infection. These things could have been picked up from the numerous foreign objects I shoved in my mouth on Sunday: including the bottoms of at least 3 beer bottles (it was a joke!) and trying to eat a piece of paper hanging on a wall in the bar because it had incriminating information on it.
I know I have brought this on myself, which is why I find it extra difficult to accept the kind gestures everyone has offered me: making me dinner so I can rest, buying me milkshakes to soothe my sore throat, getting me drunk to forget I am sick. It's all so kind...and that makes me feel even worse.
So I have been holed up all alone (except for the Rat Dog) in my house for 3 days while my whole house is under construction for flood repairs. What's a sick girl to do?
- Slept approximately 15 hours on Monday through the sounds of my carpet and flooring being ripped up.
- Played approximately 83 games of iPhone Solitaire until my vision got too blurry to continue.
- Read a 400 page Judy Blume book. Yes, I said Judy Bloom. And yes, someone did get her first period in this book.
(30second Book Report: "Summer Sisters" by Judy Bloom should be renamed "Scissor Sisters." With a storyline that eerily resembles my life without having any of the details correct...two scissor sister BFFs navigate life on two different paths: 1) A trust fund blonde fucking her way through it and 2) A bib boobed brunette engaging in stupid, dead end relationships and holding on to them for too long. I laughed; I cried. I wanted to kill the selfish bitch by the end. The good news is that someone beat me to it. The only redeeming quality of this book was the excellent, repeated use of the word: "Dingleberry." The end.)- Engaged in 10 separate, ongoing games of Words with Friends. (only half of which are actual friends...the rest are strangers...so, I played Words with Strangers)
- Ordered delivery food every day. (sick girls need soup...and cheesey bread) (I know this breaks my lenten promise...but I wanted soup....and milkshakes...and I added the break to meet the delivery minimum)
- Finally discovered Prime Time On Demand on my DVR box....I can catch up on new shows that I haven't had a chance to get addicted to yet??? SOLD!
Yes...I have failed miserably at "being active," and I blame my immune system. If this was some divine test to see how strong my resolve was? Well, fuck. But now the joke's on me anyway. I just discovered that I love a new show on NBC primetime OnDemand...and I have to refrain from watching the rest of Season 1 in one sitting. If I can't experience it in excess, I am not sure I want to experience it at all.
Please let me get better! PLEASE! I can't take it anymore.