Tuesday, April 5, 2011


I have been compiling this post for a month or so, inspired by the stupid shit my friends and I complain about...mostly via text message.  It all started when Mademoiselle BlondeMess's mother made her Vegan cookies and she left them behind.  She asked her mom to drop them off so it wouldn't take time away from her run.  Mom simply replied, "Shut up with your single white girl problems!"

We thought this was a hilarious.  A hilarious reminder that we can be a bit trapped in our own worlds.  Since then, whenever we text each other something that can be construed as whining or complaining...the other replies with #singlewhitegirlproblems.
Can't decide between pizza or sushi for dinner. Sigh. #singlewhitegirlproblems

Stayed in on Saturday night to save money...but spent $130 on Etsy.com instead. #singlewhitegirlproblems

I accidentally watched 14 episodes of Veronica Mars without you. Sorry. #singlewhitegirlproblems

Considered walking my imaginary dog on an empty leash, but have been perusing petfinder all day instead. #singlewhitegirlproblems

You feel sick?  I am packing Four-Loko and Emergen-C.  We're going out.  #singlewhitegirlproblems

Jewelery made of dollhouse items makes me feel warm inside. #singlewhitegirlproblems

I snuck out of the art opening and ate too much sushi.  Do you still think I have a chance with the Street Artist if I have mercury poisoning? #singlewhitegirlproblems

Saw Ryan Gosling and Olivia Wilde at brunch.  I lost all cool points when I giggle-squealed. #singlewhitegirlproblems

For me, the "#Singlewhitegirlproblems" list is simply self deprecating satire.  The title was fueled by the fact that I am, in fact, white AND single and often over-privileged.

I unfortunately discovered today that my friends and I aren't as original as we thought.  A group of people started a twitter account "WhiteGrlProblem" more than a year ago.  They, however, just make shit up instead of pulling from their own lives...so inherently they are way less cool than me.  Yet, they landed a book deal with TV and movie options coming anyhow.  FML.  (please note: the fact that I am miffed about being 1 year late hopping on a bandwagon of what appears to be a MAJOR trend and, therefore, ineligible for a "book deal" - #singlewhitegirlproblems case in point.)

Sadly, I also noticed on Jezebel.com that many people have their panties in a bunch - calling foul and racism.  This just confounds me.  It's not often that people are up in arms for not being considered frivolous and dramatic.  I am pretty sure this is in no way a reflection of bigotry...but we all have our fights to pick.

I don't want to fight about it.  I know that other women of all races, colors, creeds, and lifestyles may face the same "issues" as me and my friends.  SO - If anyone else also faces such adversity when deciding cupcake flavors OR arguing whether you can add milk to tea, please feel free comment with your own unique hashtag.
Examples: #marriedmotherofteenboysproblems , #gingerorphanannieproblems , #singlemaltesegirlwithoutapoodle , etc.


  1. Should I go with the accountant that cries during intercourse, or the lawyer that likes to receive from my strap-on?


  2. haha... loving this. you're funny

  3. Last week I got all the ingredients for a tofu dinner, but at the last moment saw brie on sale for a dollar and ate that with french bread in bed while watching Grey's Anatomy. #singlewhitegirlproblems

  4. theboyfrienddramaApril 5, 2011 at 3:35 PM

    Hash tag texting love it!

  5. My biggest decisions sometimes involve choosing which flipflops to wear to Target & whether to open the Chardonnay because it pairs better with lunch or drink the Chianti that was already opened. #HappilySingleMiddleAgedWomanProblems

  6. Whoever called that racist is DumB and/or doesn't understand that admitting white privilege is a solution not a problem. And if we can laugh about it: bonus. #alwaysindignant #cunttastic

  7. this is too funny. i have dozens of text messages from friends that are just like this.

  8. I think I would choose the lawyer...at least he enjoys it! :)

  9. Why thank ya, darlin'!

  10. That is my favorite! It is more often than I care to admit that I eat brie, grapes, and a baguette for dinner. I always tell myself that I will only eat half. Lies. #singlewhitegirlproblems

  11. Thanks, love!

  12. I like your style. If the weather is warm - open the chardonnay. BUT, I never leave any wine behind...so this wouldn't happen in my house. :)

  13. #cunttastic may be my favorite new hashtag!! Love it :)

  14. Thanks, dearest! I would LOVE to see some of these texts - just tonight I sent a message: "Thanks for the free movie ticket, but there are asshole kids everywhere. Fail."

  15. This post totally cracked me up. I posted on my blog about you. :)

  16.  wow....i've done way too many of those things...im kind of embarrassed right now



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