Sunday, May 22, 2011

Beer Goggles (a.k.a. Pizza Goggles)

A real conversation (according to my vodka soaked memory cells) with BlondeMess and CalienteMess from Friday night.

It was a typical Friday night at bar Landmine with the girls.  We were enjoying our table in a prime location for maximum people watching.  Then a clean cut (i.e. shaved bald), slightly pudgy guy walks by us in the bar and stares me down...
Me: I think that guy just eyefucked me.
CalienteMess: Yes, BUT he is wearing major cargo shorts. Sick.
Me: *dreamily* Yeah, but he looks like he probably eats pizza when he's drunk.
BlondeMess: Probably a safe bet.
One hour later...while splitting a large cheese pizza at the late night pizza parlor. (don't judge us!)
Me: Hey look - it's that Cargo Shorts Guy from the bar! I KNEW IT!  I knew he eats pizza when he's drunk.
BlondeMess: Ha! Yeah. OK - I've got to go. You guys ready?
(as we are cleaning our table and standing up to go)
CalienteMess: Let's go.
Me: Buh... uh... *crestfallen* But what if he's my soulmate?
They say the words you speak when you are drunk are your secret desires...Apparently, the most important quality in a life partner is what he eats when he's drunk.

6 comments:

  1.  *pats you on the head* 
    There, there, it'll be ok.  He'll be drunk in a pizza place again soon! ;)

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  2. SisterMerryHellishMay 23, 2011 at 2:24 PM

    I can't believe it's not on MY list! 

    *scribbles furiously* 

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  3. My not so secret desires are that they drink heavily, don't judge MY late night eating and like bowling, karaoke and getting me up to get me things even if I'm closer. 

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  4. Yep - should be on the top of every list! :)

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  5. he he! At least I know where to look :)

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  6.  YES, YES, YES, all kind of Yes!!  I just found several new things to add to my list!  A man who can enjoy karaoke is definitely my soul mate!!

    ReplyDelete

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