Tuesday, May 31, 2011

When In Rome...

Memorial Day Weekend in the United States means 3 things to me: Backyard BBQ-in', beer drankin', and Car Racin'.  I have experienced Nascar several times in the past...each time adapting my behavior to that of the locals. This weekend was no exception.

I skipped Nascar this year to experience my first Indy Car Race. (race fans will say that they are SOOOO different....I beg to differ!  Jorts are jorts the world around.)  While at the 100th Anniversary of the Indianapolis 500, I embraced my Indiana roots and got real hillbilly with it this weekend.  I figured, "When in Rome, do as the Romans..."
You Might Be A HauteMess If...
You go shopping for black jeans to cut into "jorts" and spend $400 on other costume-like clothing instead.


You Might Be A HauteMess If...
You use wire cutters to become the official "jorts" stylist for your family.
You Might Be A HauteMess If...
You are inexplicable drawn to the only shirtless 24 year old at a tailgate and end up kissing him....while wearing a bikini body t-shirt.

You Might Be A HauteMess If...
You later find out that the shirtless 24 year old also made out with your cousin that same night. (Only in Indiana...and Kentucky, I suppose)

You Might Be A HauteMess If...
You spend $40 cash to purchase a life sized cutout of Damon Wayans to take into the Indy 500...and later you are seen slow dancing with said cutout. (and have an uncomfortable number of pictures with him)


You Might Be A HauteMess If...
You get your second wind at 3am and start pranking your friends on the West Coast (by simply breathing heavily into the phone)...then forward all return calls to someone else in case someone calls back.

You Might Be A HauteMess If...
You and your sister erase someone else's whiteboard and draw the following... (and then you are quoted as saying, "Dry makes everything funnier.")

10 comments:

  1. SisterMerryHellishMay 31, 2011 at 8:55 PM

    I have never in my entire life though "you know what would be fun? Watching other people drive cars!!!"  But I'll be damned if you don't make it sound like a blast!

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  2. Taking photos with a Wayans brother cutout sounds exactly like something I would do!

    I want to see the jorts :)

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  3.  It was one of the saddest moments of my life when I had to leave him in Indy.  My other talents include fringing t-shirts!

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  4. I must admit - I don't actually watch any cars...I watch people.  And they are glorious!

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  5. theboyfrienddramaJune 1, 2011 at 4:47 PM

    Let me know when you want to sell that life size cut out haha

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  6. Unfortunately, in my hungover and sweaty shame - I left him at a playground in Indianapolis....i figured he may just change some kid's life!  Very Mother Theresa of me!

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  7.  Yes...I am slightly embarrassed.  Just slightly.

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  8. I would like you to create me a pair of jorts please. Those just sound lovely. 

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  9.  Done and Done! Redneck stylist should be added to my list of special talents!   You send me the jeans, and I will return a fab pair of jorts and the leftover jean sleeves!

    ReplyDelete

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