Friday, July 8, 2011

OK Cupid AND Sorry For Partying

After quitting OK Cupid last year for making me feel like a horribly shallow person, introducing me to a gay guy who bit me, and generally being filled with creeps.....I sort of joined again.

I know, I know....I should have learned my lesson last summer, but I was thinking about how it has been WAAAAY too long since I have been on a date, and I have a closet full of really cute date clothes just waiting to be taken out, AND a girl has needs!

SO - rather than using my usual excuse ("I am just so busy - I love spending time with my friends and enjoy being independent...so I just am not too worried about meeting guys.") as the reason for why I am not meeting guys, I am using it as a reason to look at online dating again.  If I truly am too busy to join new activities and clubs where I may meet guys who are passionate about the same things as I am.  And if I am too into being with friends to ditch them when a cute boy looks my way at a bar.  And if I love my life too much to alter it in any way in order to meet more single men.  THEN online dating seems perfect.

From the comfort of my own couch/airport Delta Sky Club/hotel room/iPhone app - I can cruise dudes online as much as I please.  And when I am too busy? I just don't log in. It is perfect.  This year, I have decided that I don't want to pursue anyone.  I shall let them send me messages and if I think there is a possible connection, I will reply back.  However, this time, I will not send thoughtful rejection letters to the 21 years old boys who live 3 hours away booty calling me...I will not allow those assholes to call me a bitch ever again.  If anyone seems creepy? BLOCKED.  Also - if a guy seems "off" or "crazy," I will trust my gut and NOT meet him out for a drink and let him bite my shoulder while I try to talk to the bartender.

It will be a whole new, better experience this year! (keep telling myself that)

On an unrelated note, I have also declared this "Sorry for Partying July."  It is meant to be the step-sister of Bad Decision August. I had a wonderful time last year doing the things I knew I shouldn't...on purpose.   In case some of you are wondering, "what exactly does 'Sorry For Partying' mean?"  I will provide a common definition from UrbanDictionary.com:
"1. sorry for partying

the act of apologizing for having an awesome time. in no situation does this saying not apply. you kill your neighbors dog? sorry for partying. you steal your friends credit card at the bar and run up a huge tab? sorry for partying. you bang your friends mom with an empty beer bottle? sorry for partying. piss your pants in the bar? sorry for partying. can't get a boner because your to drunk? sorry for partying."

Of course, none of those definitions actually apply to me. BUT after July 4th weekend kicked it off with a bang, and the upcoming Senorita CalienteMess's birthday weekend, the Brother & SisterMess visit weekend, and my high school reunion...possible "Sorry for Partying July" statements may be:
  • Went boating all day, drinking directly from a BOX of wine, then passed out from 8pm until 5am the next day? SORRY FOR PARTYING!
  • Woke up after that boat trip and subjected yourself to 8 hours of Katie Holmes's horrific Boston accent in the tooth-pullingly slow mini-series "The Kennedys"? SORRY FOR PARTYING!
  • Go out wearing nothing but a full denim body suit (after Jortstock IV: Thighs the Limit) and fiber-optic glowing hair extensions? SORRY FOR PARTYING!
  • Convinced you to hook up with a former teacher at your high school reunion? SORRY FOR PARTYING!
  • Got wasted, set up an extreme Slip N Slide, causing you to break your face? SORRY FOR PARTYING!
  • Black out while eating an entire large pizza? SORRY FOR PARTYING! 
  • Accidentally got your dog drunk? SORRY FOR PARTYING!
  • Didn't change out of my bikini body t-shirt all weekend? SORRY FOR PARTYING!
I may alcohol poison myself or someone I love very much this month, but much like Jessie Spano, I am so excited; I'm so scared.

Who's in on "Sorry For Partying July" with me?

20 comments:

  1. Sorry for partying July should be a national month long holiday.  I am definitely participating.

    And where on earth did you manage to find  a full body denim suit? I am impressed.

    http://afewfrenchfriesshort.blogspot.com/

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  2. Good luck with the online dating, I've heard interestingly funny things about okcupid so think it's probably time I test those waters too...hopefully something to write about...I mean find a guy to fall in love with...yeah

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  3. I am so in for the "Sorry For Partying July"!! Love your blog by the way :)

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  4. Sorry For Partying! Love it! As soon as I get off this cold medicine I am so right there with you! 

    Also, welcome back to the world of online fun. Love you standards for it this time around! 

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  5. i completely understand your online dating habits- i stopped using OK for a few months and recently found myself back at it. good ideas as to how to better use it though- best of luck to you- fingers crossed for no creepers!

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  6. Good luck with it all and I might get into Sorry For Partying!

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  7. I'm with you on Sorry For Partying July ALL THE WAY!

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  8. Good for you on the no bullshit attitude toward online dating this time.  It's good practice for all of the other assholes life will send your way. 

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  9. rock out haute stuff!

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  10. Thanks - so far, so good!

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  11. Yes - however, most guys in bars don't immediately ask my about my favorite position...for the most part. :)

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  12. Welcome to the awesome kids club!! Can't wait to hear all about it

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  13. I highly recommend that you get into it - so far, so awesome!

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  14. Thanks!! How is it turning out for you?  better this time?  I am using the "Block Him" button liberally this time - so far I think I have narrowed the field down by 92%!

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  15. Off the cold medicine yet?  It is time for Sorry For Partying!

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  16. Thank you!!!  Please send updates on your Sorry For Partying July!

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  17. Ha! I know...I don't want to online date for the blog material...but it is like shooting fish in a barrel!

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  18. How is Sorry For Partying July working out for you?  I would LOVE if it was a national holiday that included days off work! PAID days off work! ;)

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