In summary, in the past 7 Days I have been a stellar employee, a loving sister, a suzy home-maker, a BBQ hostess with the mostest, a Jort-Stylist extraordinaire, and an absentee Blogger. For that, I apologize. Sorry for partying.
A FEW QUICK UPDATES:
Jortstock IV: Thigh's The Limit: It was an amazing party hosted by my former MFFBF (mother fucking fake boyfriend) - I attended this special event in a pair of cut off men's jeans, suspenders, and a tuxedo tee shirt. For flair, I attached Saved By the Bell pins to my suspenders, clipped in my fiberoptic extensions, and donned my glowstick glasses.
Madame MarriedMess fashioned denim bowties, denim hair extensions, denim anklets and bracelets, and denim headbands from the discarded jort legs. Senorita CalienteMess rocked a full length, bedazzled denim coat with Indian print patterns done in glitter puff paint. Mademoiselle BlondeMess got jiggy with a prison jumpsuit, turning it into one hot ass onesie! (it came complete with Zig Zags in the pocket...unfortunately those weren't discovered until sometime during the spin cycle oft the washer) We looked incredible.
If I ever find my camera, I promise to share some pictures.
NEW OBSESSION: While playing Flip Cup at Jortstock, a new invention was revealed.... It's a flamingo. It's a beer bong. It's the FLA-BONG-O!!!
|Note: I found this on google...I don't know them..|
NEW OBSESSION #2: Parks & Recreation. I added it to my Netflix Queue after The Muchacho introduced me to it ... and I watched all 30 episodes in like 9 days. Amy Poeler and Aziz Ansari make me laugh so hard that I fear I may lose my bladder control.
OK CUPID: As expected...the creeps on OK Cupid are still actively seeking out women to molest with the written word. I now present you with my favorite excerpts from these poets.
"Embarrassing nicknames: Cold sore (I don't actually have cold cores, its a reference to what a potential suitor of mine said to me)... (ed. note: SURE you don't)
"My good friend actually had a limp on experience recently (which we found out about from the girl, not the friend) which was quite hilarious. Apparently, when he could ram his slug into her goods, he proclaimed 'im too big' with his softie slinking around. Sigh." (ed. note: I just barfed in my mouth.)
Enjoy your week! I promise to be back with more updates, possibly even a rant, and a whole list of #singlewhitegirl problems ranging from broken bedazzlers to the famous Tupac vs. Biggie debate.