Saturday, August 27, 2011

Come On Irene!

In case you didn't know - the world is ending. Or something like that.
New York is preparing to be pummeled by Hurricane Irene...and I am sitting in the Delta Skyclub trying to decide whether to stay drunk (residual blood alcohol content from last night's Patron shots) or sober up in case I need to rent a car.

Last night, after I was informed that my 12:55pm flight today was cancelled, I made a logical decision.  I went back in the bar and purchased a round of shots. The Silver Medallion phone lines had an estimated 60minute wait time ... but there was no wait time at the bar.  So I ordered Patron from the Lower East Side Speakeasy, carried the espresso cups that they were served in back to my table of friends, and proverbially said "FUCK YOU IRENE."

Honestly, I would have LOVED to just stay in Manhattan, get drunk and stranded with good friends, and stop worrying about getting home...but that attitude didn't fly so well with my mother.

Real quotes from my mom last night:
  • "I had a gentleman from FEMA on my flight today and he said that this is going to be just like Katrina." (note: my mother is a flight attendant)
  • "Just so you know - I was watching TV and they were interviewing astronauts...from space. And they said that even from space this hurricane looks bad."
  • "You COULD DIE!"

As I apathetically sipped my Vodka & Water cocktail from a teacup, I received the following text from my mother: "You have been rebooked with a first class ticket to Columbus, Ohio. From there you will need to rent a car."

I simply replied, "Or call dad to come get me." And ordered another round of Patron and started texting myself "blog ideas" about Hurricane Irene and set an alarm for this morning.

At 5AM (2.5 hours later), the opening melody of George Michael's "Careless Whisper" blasted in my ear via my iPhone Alarm Clock App.  I popped straight up out of bed and, just like Buddy the Elf, I started rattling off positive thoughts.
"YAY! I am already checked in!"
"Seat 1A - Woo!"
"Good news, I saw a dog today."
"Hey! My make up still loos great.  Guess who's NOT washing her face this morning...ME!"
"Whoah.  Guess what? I'm still drunk."

Now, as I sit here in the Delta SkyClub with my Bloody Mary (I decided that I have PLENTY of time to sober up if I need to rent a car and drive home...), I leave you with the quintessential Hurricane Irene playlist that I created last night. (a.k.a. 3 hours ago)
  • Come on Eileen (But change the word Eileen to "Irene...") - Dexys Midnight Runners
  • Hurricane - Bob Dylan
  • Umbrella - Rhianna
  • Blame It on the Rain - Milli Vanilli
  • Purple Rain - Prince
  • Waterfalls - TLC


  1. 'YOU'RE GOING TO DIE' ahaha but in all seriousness please don't!

  2. Hahaha, you're hilarious! I'm feeling pretty apathetic too at this point, but WHO THE FUCK knows? How did you like NYC?? Next time you'll be in town, hit me up! ;)

  3. Brilliant. Irene was kind of a disappointment up here in NYC, I'm still mad that the MTA is back today though - I was looking forward to an excuse not to go to work.

    Drinks are always the best option when dealing with natural disasters.



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