Sunday, September 25, 2011

Paris Day 1

I am back from my Parisian Adventures and have LOTS of wonderful stories to share!  In the interest of ADHD...I must break the stories down into day by day segments.  I now present you with....

PAR-EEEEE Day 1: Fleas, Corn, and Ugly Americans

We arrived Saturday morning, so naturally my first stop was the famous Parisian Flea Markets.  I envisioned myself finding some marvelous vintage jacket with insanely impractical sparkly jewelry all priced like the deal of the century...instead, I found miles and miles of sickeningly BEAUTIFUL antiques and vintage jewels that were all out of my financial reach. Sigh.

However, I did uncover some surprising new trends:
  1. GUESS is like the new Louis Vuitton among the ratty street peddlers who chase you around with knock offs.  I was offered more GUESS than Chanel.  How does that even happen??  1993 called...it wants its favorite brand back.
  2. French Street Food vendors are quite the entrepreneurs. They have gotten even leaner in their operations by cutting nearly all overhead. HOW? By setting up portable grills made from stolen shopping carts. And the French people LOVE it...I must have seen a hundred converted shopping carts serving up grilled corn on the cob and grilled chestnuts.  I am not sure what the appeal is exactly, but I can say with certainty that I wouldn't eat corn from a homeless man's shopping cart if he paid me!
  3. While not a "trend" - I think it is important to share that THIS is a real mannequin that a store felt okay with using to advertise men's clothing.

After the flea market, we walked 7 miles exploring the city and Sacre Couer.  It was lovely!
But, the walking and the jetlag (and maybe the 2 bottles of wine) made us delirious.  Most of our after dinner conversation consisted of us mixing English and French trying to horrify any fellow bar patrons who may be eavesdropping.  We tried to think of the most preposterous phrases we could put together in the little French we know...

Imagine sitting at a table in America, listening to a couple speaking in loud, broken English talking about decomposing corpses. "Excuse me. I would like a decomposing corpse.  I love the decomposing corspes."

Other phrases that you may have heard if sitting next to us:
  • "Je suis vegeterien, mais jadore le cock." (I am a vegetarian, but I love the cock.)
  • "Comment dit-on 'flaccid' en français?"  (How does one say 'flaccid' in French?)
  • "Excusez-moi, comment dit-on 'pull out method'?" (Excuse me, how does one say 'pull out method'?)
Needless to say, I still giggle thinking about shouting "pull out method" in the middle of a bar over the loud music, just hoping that someone would overhear us.

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