"Mr. Possibility" : Nothing More, Nothing Less.
I met Mr. Possibility years ago. In my initial assessment, he was "meh." Just another friend of a friend with a girlfriend I really liked. Then a few months back (while we were both single), he went from "Meh!" to "Oh, Heyyy!"
Due to circumstances beyond our control, we had to share a bed one weekend. I know this is going to sound weird coming from ME...but the fact that he DIDN'T put the moves on me was the sexiest thing he could have done. Instead, we talked until we fell asleep...then woke up and started talking some more. For the first time, he stopped being a friend of a friend and became MY friend.
We started hanging out more; I genuinely liked him as a friend. AND THEN... one day I saw his bucket list posted to his bedroom wall. It was beautiful. It all sort of hit me: The laughs, The fun, The trust. And I smiled....He became a possibility.
The Recent History
One night, while hanging out and having the kind of epic night that only we could conjure...there was talking, flirting, making out, and lingering sexual tension...but no more, no less.
What did it all mean?
We sort of secretly began talking more, following up to see if there was something special there. BUT fear curtailed any romantic hopes almost immediately. He realized that our future was riddled with dangerous landmines like mutual best friends. I realized that he wants to be an awesome DAD...and I want to be an awesome AUNT.
So we quit. We demoted each other to "just friends" in the blink of an eye and moved on.
Or Did We?
Sometimes it feels like we are just friends, and sometimes it doesn't. I never really know.
Here is what I do know: I love hanging out with him. He makes me belly laugh. He lets me make fun of him incessantly. He tells me that I look pretty. He carries my bags. He was the first person I wanted to call when I found out my dad was sick. And sometimes, he looks at me...you know the look I am talking about.
Yet, I can't seem to figure out if any of this is a good idea or a bad idea. (Drunk Me votes GOOD IDEA! Sober Me votes bad...) I mean, I may not be running for City Council of Pawnee, Indiana - but I don't want to get hurt, so I keep the Heisman arm up.
And then Leslie Knope (and a bottle of red wine) made me realize: We spend so much time busying ourselves with thoughts of "What if it doesn't work out?" instead of just saying, "FUCK IT! What if it does?" And really...what if it does?