Then in early 2006 when Brad and Jen announced that
To this day, the sight of Angelina Jolie reminds me of crushed dreams and broken hearts.
But I have healed since then....I have grown and matured, and found new Hollywood couples to place my irrational hopes and dreams on. As long as Heidi and Seal are still together, like a beacon of hope, I'll be okay.
WAIT....WHAT?!?! HEIDI AND SEAL ARE GETTING A DIVORCE???? [insert hair pulling sequence here]
I love all their awesome costumes. (See Above: For their 2009 vow renewal, they dressed up like rednecks! WINNERS!) He proposed in a fucking IGLOO! I mean...how badly does this guy have to fuck up to not realize Heidi is THE BEST HE WILL EVER DO! I am just beside myself. I haven't been this sad about something totally irrelevant to my daily life since Elizabeth Taylor died.
In my fragile state, please don't let anything else bad happen...I don't want a repeat of the 2006 Make Out Slut Trifecta. If Betty White dies, hide the knives, pills, & shoelaces...it will be a difficult winter!