Friday, February 10, 2012

The First Date Rating System

First dates are awkward. They sometimes turn out to be okay, but rarely do they turn out better than a night with a good book or the Golden Girls DVD box set.   Therefore, I have devised a rating based on a 10 point scale...5 is the highest score you can have on a first date.  Why? Because let's be honest, finding out where people grew up and what they do for a living sucks.  (Unless it is someone with a really cool accent or a famous person)  A 5 out of 10 is a VERY good score for a first date in my books! Or maybe I am just doing it wrong...but here is the way I see it: (based on true stories)
1 = HELL "God this guy is creepy...I think I will take a different route home tonight and park in front of a neighbor's house, just in case."
2 = I WOULD RATHER KISS MY DOG "I was so not attracted to him that every time he leaned in, I instinctively moved away.  When he texted me after the date, I cringed."
3 =  WASTING MY TIME "Almost a total waste of my time. I now know where he was born and raised, how he felt about high school, why he is in Cincinnati, why he left his last job, his past three relationships, and he has asked me exactly one question: What would I like to drink. He ate three times as much as me and let me pay for half... it would have been a total waste of time had I not enjoyed the sushi so much.
4 = I KNOW THIS ISN'T GOING TO END WELL, BUT... "Is he gay? I think he likes penis more than me...but he is so good looking, I should probably go out with him again to figure it out.
5 = MEH. "He is nice.  He doesn't make me feel any negative feelings.  I guess I'll see him again."
So go forth, have first dates, and rate them accordingly!

(And for reference: in my book, THIS is a 10.)


  1. Here is the thing, nothing will ever be as good as The Golden Girls. Based on your rating system, most of my first dates are a 2.

  2. Great system! 

  3. So, this is going to seem like a creeper thing and there goes all of my non creeper redeeming value, but I was curious what my rating was? I liked your blog so I catch it every now and then. I was the guy with the burger blog during the summer.



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