Thursday, February 23, 2012

"Surviving Single" Lesson 1: Cold & Flu Season

This week I have through the true torture test of being an independent, single girl.  While I love my life most days of the year, there is always at least 1 week of the 52 that I curse my (impossibly?) high standards/poor taste in men and just wish that I had someone to take care of/wait on me...COLD & FLU SEASON.

I am a total baby when I am sick...I make random noises when completing the most menial tasks because whining and groaning just feels like the right thing to do.  I cry out to Bitchy Little Rat Dog, begging her to make me some soup or pick up my prescriptions.  Then, I mutter to myself in the aisles of the drug store as I think aloud about my decision to purchase name brand vs. generic.  My standard uniform is "college student meets hippie hobo:" scrubs/sweat pants, concert tees, decorative socks, and a knit cap to hide my naturally curly (80s perm-style) hair that I last washed 3 days ago.   I literally look like the walking dead...

If you haven't gotten sick this year, then please pay attention now so that none of this happens to you!  I present you with my next "HauteMess How To Column" that I would like to call:


Surviving Single: Cold & Flu Season Edition


If you are single (or in a long distance relationship), please learn from my mistakes and PREPARE NOW!

1. Stock Your Pantry:
There are comfort foods that we all gravitate to when we are sick ... so stock up now! If you have a small kitchen, keep these in a box in your closet labeled "Emergency Sick Rations."  Trust me! When you wake up with a fever and snot that just won't quit, you will not want to throw on shoes and a coat to run to the nearest store.  So just add some of your go-to sick kid staples to your grocery list now:  whatever mom made you AND whatever you wished she would make you but she insisted was bad for you! (like anyone ever died from eating sour patch kids when they had bronchitis)

HauteMess Approved Rations include lots of:
- Multiple flavors of Gatorade
- Coca-Cola (real! not diet...nothing tastes better)
- Soup (I am currently in love with Amy's Vegan "Not Chicken Noodle" Soup)
- Oyster crackers,
- Popsicles (the popsicles may not do so well in a box in your closet...so you my want to freeze them)

2. Stock Your Medicine Cabinet:
Same logic from above applies here...by the time you are a hacking mess, you will not feel like buying cough syrup.  SO, load up already!  Keep it in the "Sick Rations" box.

I highly recommend loading up on the following:
- 2 bottles of Cough syrup (trust!)
- Acetaminophen
- Dayquil gelcaps or some other multi-symptom equivalent for day time
- Benadryl to help you sleep at night if you are not using cough syrup (same active ingredient as Unisom or the sleep aid in Tylenol PM)
- Pepto-bismal
- Cough drops
- Lots o' Kleenex (the kind with lotion, trust me!)
- Vaseline (in case you don't buy kleenex with lotion, your nose will need it)
- Neti Pot
- Extra tampons (if this seems random to you, then your birth control stands up better to the Z-pak than mine...plus, its just nice to always have an extra stash)

3. Load Your Queue:
Netflix, Stack of DVDs, Amazon Kindle Books, your Local Library's online books (avoid public hard copy books for the sake of all those who will touch that book after you).  Whatever it is that you like to do when you are sick, SAVE SOME!  I have watched so many episodes of Golden Girls in the past few weeks that it just didn't satisfy me as a "sick day" activity.  I ended up calling Time Warner Cable and ordering a $30/month premium movie channel package. (I am now caught up on Shameless and House of Lies on Showtime, thank you)  I could have avoided this fate had I just kept 10 hours of sacred shows on my Netflix Queue.

4. Comfort In The Little Things:
Today, I was desperate enough to nap on an uncomfortable air mattress in the spare room because my room is too bright & hot in the afternoons.  I highly recommend ear plugs and eye masks.  Sleeping at all hours of the day is not only encouraged, but necessary.  But unfortunately, your neighbors/delivery trucks/construction workers may not be aware that the world should be revolving around you.   Other small comforts include: dryer-fresh sheets and blankets, a special "sick" mug that you can drink soup or tea from depending on time of day, and fun slippers or socks that make you smile as you laze around the house all day.


A Note on Flu Shots: If you don't get flu shots - I understand!  I never get flu shots.  One year when there was a shortage, the government told me that only old people and babies needed the flu vaccination, and I am still holding them to that.  And Jenny McCarthy claims that it will make me autistic.  SO - I usually ignore the banners Walgreen's hangs up and go along with my life.   My current illness is an upper respiratory infection gone rogue and turned into a sinus infection that is slowly trying to take over my bronchial tubes...so not even a flu shot could have helped with this.

1 comment:

  1. I find that I can't watch television, read, or focus when I am sick. because I do not take medicine, my colds last a day or two longer than those who are helped by nyquil. Inability to sleep means I do not get the rest required to heal.

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