Friday, June 1, 2012

#Singlewhitegirlproblems: The "Why Am I Attracted To HIM?" Edition

I had a shocking revelation this week...

There is something about the beautiful weather this week that re-awakened my hibernating libido.  After months of disinterest, a little voice in my head started prompting me to "get back out there - find a nice guy to spend some steamy summer nights with..."  SO, I started looking around a bit, checking out the potential suitors who could be right under my nose.

But apparently, the little voice in my head is only attracted to a certain type of man...
Last week I went to a new restaurant with Madame MarriedMess and decided that the head chef would be perfect for me - tall, cute smile, AND he can cook! But I didn't make any moves last week, so I made Madame MarriedMess go with me to eat lunch there again yesterday...that's when I noticed his wedding band. Of course. #singlewhitegirlproblems
While dining at my neighborhood vegan restaurant, the attractive bartender for the wine bar next door stopped by our table to say hello to Madame MarriedMess. (he's friends with the old balls & chain)  I thought he was cute enough to take Senorita CalienteMess back there the next night for some wine and flirting.  Shortly after we ordered our first glass, he went on break....because his girlfriend showed up for their "dinner date." I just can't win. #singlewhitegirlproblems
And just to add insult to injury, I just found out that even my celebrity crush is unavailable.

I fell deeply and madly in love with Matthew Bomer, the smoking hot star of White Collar.  I decided to promote him to a place in my "Top 5," but when I googled him to find a picture, the phrase "Matthew Bomer gay" popped up as a popular search.  Yep, he came out in February announcing his long time partner and their THREE KIDS.  Why?!? Why does this keep happening to me. #singlewhitegirlproblems

Yep. So if I had to describe my "type" - I guess I'd have to say "married," "taken," and/or "gay" would be an accurate representation of my efforts this week. Sigh.


  1. dang girl, sucks :(
    try a sports bar next time. I know you're not doing the wings but beer is vegan, right?

  2. ARG! Why is that always the case! You aren't alone with this problem. I guess once you pass 22-23, all the men start coupling off and we still-single ladies are left with the commitment-phobes, divorcees, and closeted gays. Sigh.

  3. Are we the same person? Or is it just that every guy who isn't a total creep is not single and/or straight? Can we just assume that's the case and that we're not batshit crazy and prone to disaster? ... okay, I may be just talking about myself there. Nevermind. 



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