Friday, September 21, 2012

Deep Questions ... by Mademoiselle HauteMess

Like Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy...here is a little Friday mind bender for you. The return of "Deep Questions by Mademoiselle HauteMess." (one of my favorite Deep Questions post is this...)

DEEP QUESTIONS : The Cerebral Cinephile Edition.


 "Analyzer" is one of my top Strengthfinder strengths.  I know this is true because that overgrown brain muscle typically overpowers my thoughts.  I overanalyze everything. Literally.  Nothing is safe.   Case in point: for the past two days I have not been able to stop obsessing about the final scene in Cruel Intentions in spite of the fact that I haven't even seen this movie in years.

Cruel Intentions is one of my all time favorite movies...yet it has always left me with lingering questions in my mind.  Two days ago, completely out of the blue, I became particularly fixated on the fact that Annette is driving Sebastian's car in the final scene....like she is the owner.


QUESTION: How did Annette get this car?

MY HYPOTHESIS: She stole it.

I mean, it is absolutely PREPOSTEROUS that she would inherit that car after Sebastian died.  (oops...maybe I should have said "Spoiler alert" at the beginning of this post)  Here are the various reasons why I absolutely reject the notion that she is the rightful owner/recipient of this car:

  • Seventeen year olds either don't have or don't frequently update a Last Will & Testament. So it isn't likely he legally willed that to her. 
  • Sebastian's absentee parents never met Annette during the INCREDIBLY brief tryst.  And had they asked Kathryn about Annette, Kathryn would have made up some story about her being a stalker and taken the Jag for herself.
  • And even if his parents had met her, how could they possibly take that relationship seriously.  Sebastian had sex with HALF the upper east side...a little pickle tickle wouldn't automatically make this chick stand out in his parents' minds. Their relationship lasted for like 2 weeks.  Just because the poster queen of virginity let the man-whore of Manhattan sex her up...that would hardly convince someone's parents that you are the rightful owner of anything of his. (except possibly herpes)  
  • Side note: Really?  True love?  It looks like someone could have used a Sassy Gay Friend.
  • And finally, it was a 1956 Jaguar Roadster...why would the grieving parents of a tragically departed son hand over the incredibly rare, expensive prized possession of their son immediately following his funeral?
Conclusion: The hormonal beyotch stole that shit while Sebastian's parents weren't looking.   OR her dad bought it for her... Either way, there is no way Sebastian gave it to her.

What do you think?

1 comment:

  1. His aunt met her and thought she was a lovely lady!!!!

    ReplyDelete

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