Who is this HauteMess?

First things first...let’s just get one thing clear- as much as I may try to be or wish that I was- I am NOT Carrie Bradshaw. I am about 15 years younger. The biggest city I have ever lived in is Cincinnati. Although I love to shop- I am strictly an online shopaholic who would rather gouge my eyes out than find parking at the mall- the trash man asked me one day how many pairs of shoes I buy because he has never seen so many boxes in recycling bin...OOPS!  I own more than 100 pairs of shoes...none of which were purchased at full price.  I own a closet full of costumes and prefer dressing in a bikini body t-shirt to a designer ensemble.

And although my friends are AMAZING- none of them are Manhattan socialites or independently wealthy, either. I have a great job and all, but I have NEVER been able to afford both my rent and Manolos. Nor would I even be able to find Manolos in Cincinnati. Carrie never talks about accidentally giving her number to someone when she was blackout drunk- or making out with some manbeast on accident while emotionally vulnerable.

My life is one big experiment in making bad decisions...some work out in the end and some make for hilarious tales of dating and defeat, love and loss, and the constant reminder than Karma can be instant. I may not be Carrie Bradshaw- but I do think I am the Midwestern, Goofier, Curvier (read: fatter) version of her. I invite you all to come along with me for the ride as I navigate the choppy waters of being a single girl in the city.


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